20/20 is giving me a lot of blog material lately. I came across a story the other day about a woman who had 3 kids of her own and 8 kids for other people. She's a Serial Surrogate and says giving the baby she carried to the parents who couldn't carry it themselves is the best present she can give.She became a surrogate mother when she was looking for a job she could do from home so she could spend time with her 3 young children. She says she loves being pregnant, and loves the attention she gets as a pregnant woman.
While you get $25K-$40K per pregnancy something tells me that's not worth it (that's in the U.S., interestingly enough in Britain the surrogate mother can't be paid for more than "reasonable expenses due to pregnancy"). I've never experienced pregnancy but from what I've seen and heard it's not too pretty. I'm not sure how "life threatening" it is but putting yourself at that kind of health risk for someone seems like it could be a really hard challenge. Would you or could you do it?
Supposedly the people she carries the baby for are couples who just can't carry their own child... as in the embryo is theirs. Do you think there's anything morally wrong with that? Personally, I don't. I mean, I think it would be hard to sacrifice that much for someone else but I don't think it's wrong.
I'm not gonna lie. It's crossed my mind before... The thought of hiring a surrogate (yea, I'm a hypocrite I know). I didn't think long an hard about it but at one point in time I thought "yea, hire someone else to do all the work. Sweet!" Now I don't think that's an option I'd consider unless I medically couldn't carry my own child. I definitely think I'd consider adoption first--But let's pray I am not limited to choose either.
Either way I thought it was a very interesting story. Myself being a journalist, I find people like this very intriguing and if I ever meet a being like this I'd trap them and ask them 20 questions.
Here's the report:
12 remarks:
Thanks for checking out my blog. This is a very interesting story. I myself have actually considered being a surrogate or an egg donor. I have three kids and we are done having kids of our own, I am young still and healthy. So I definitely have looked into it. I have pretty easy pregnancies and labors, so it wouldn't seem like a huge sacrifice. I do have to say though, the money is what is tempting. I do like helping people, and that is a wonderful thing to be able to help someone have a baby who can't, but I am not going to lie and say that money isn't part of it.
However, the church definitely discourages it, so that sort of stopped me looking.
I guess to each his own, right.
Very interesting though, thanks for the post.
I really enjoyed being pregnant, however those months of constant contact with the baby--feeling him move, always concerned for his health, etc--made me feel so attached to him before he was even born. I don't know that any amount of money could convince me to give up a child I had carried. I have some pretty opinionated positions about unmedicated birth being healthier for the baby too, so all that work for the sake of the baby and then to give him away....yeah, I don't think i could do it.
I would absolutely donate my eggs to a sister or dear friend if she needed them...not to a stranger though (or for money). I think it's the money side of it where the church discourages it... I *might* consider being a surrogate for a sister...maybe...
With all that said, I'd definitely be a wetnurse (which is similar only with nursing). I think it's sad if a mom won't nurse her own child, but if she *can't*, well, I'd rather see the kid get breastmilk. I pumped and shared my milk for the first 7 months after my baby was born--I would have continued but I moved 2000 miles away! I've nursed other people's babies too, and I'm very comfortable with that. :)
BTW, I found you on mormonmommyblogs--I saw you were in the lead on the poll and came to see what all the fuss was about. Obviously I read 4 pages of the blog, LOL. Thanks for coming to visit me too! I love getting new visitors. :)
While I can feel ya, Mommy Bee, I promise you - giving a baby away can be done without remorse, without trauma, without regret.
I once carried a baby to full term and gave it to two loving parents. Mine was not a surrogacy but an adoption. I was a single mother of two so I knew what it was to spend nine months becoming attached to my child.
But, I had been raped and would not abort. At the instant that I knew of my pregnancy, I knew that the child had been conceived and had been created for someone else. When he was born, I held him for a brief moment. Without hesitation, I signed the release papers and, later, the adoption papers.
I have never regretted that decision.
I would never have taken a penny for the privelege.
I would do it for someone very close to me in a heartbeat, but never for pay. And really, pregnancy is difficult (probably the most difficult thing I've done to date), but through the hardships come the joyful rewards. I just can't imagine being paid to take that wonderful (yes, painful, nauseating, uncomfortable but WONDERFUL) experience away from someone who was capable of having it for themselves. You wouldn't believe it based on how much I whined during my pregnancy, but I actually miss it. It is such a unique and special experience, and so rewarding.
I woud only do it for a close family member. I wouldn't do it for money. Pregnancy is really challenging & very special, I could only do it for the people I love & would want to be in the childs life.
Sure there are lots of "war" stories about pregnancy. But I definitely wouldn't describe it as "not too pretty." Oh, I had my share of the bad stuff -- I threw up for all 9 months of my first pregnancy. I had heartburn and leg cramps. But I loved the feeling of the baby growing within me. The kicking and movement that was mine to share or not to share. It was a very special time.
I've been a surrogate twice. And let me tell you, there is no way on earth any sane person would "hire" a surrogate unless it was medically necessary! I'd rather go through the pregnancy part than the egg retrieval procedure any day!
To date, I've only delivered three babies to another family (one set of twins) but it is something that my whole family found to be a wonderful experience, and we are considering it again.
It's a vagina not a clown car!
It's a vagina not a clown car!
I've been a surrogate twice. And let me tell you, there is no way on earth any sane person would "hire" a surrogate unless it was medically necessary! I'd rather go through the pregnancy part than the egg retrieval procedure any day!
To date, I've only delivered three babies to another family (one set of twins) but it is something that my whole family found to be a wonderful experience, and we are considering it again.
While I can feel ya, Mommy Bee, I promise you - giving a baby away can be done without remorse, without trauma, without regret.
I once carried a baby to full term and gave it to two loving parents. Mine was not a surrogacy but an adoption. I was a single mother of two so I knew what it was to spend nine months becoming attached to my child.
But, I had been raped and would not abort. At the instant that I knew of my pregnancy, I knew that the child had been conceived and had been created for someone else. When he was born, I held him for a brief moment. Without hesitation, I signed the release papers and, later, the adoption papers.
I have never regretted that decision.
I would never have taken a penny for the privelege.
I really enjoyed being pregnant, however those months of constant contact with the baby--feeling him move, always concerned for his health, etc--made me feel so attached to him before he was even born. I don't know that any amount of money could convince me to give up a child I had carried. I have some pretty opinionated positions about unmedicated birth being healthier for the baby too, so all that work for the sake of the baby and then to give him away....yeah, I don't think i could do it.
I would absolutely donate my eggs to a sister or dear friend if she needed them...not to a stranger though (or for money). I think it's the money side of it where the church discourages it... I *might* consider being a surrogate for a sister...maybe...
With all that said, I'd definitely be a wetnurse (which is similar only with nursing). I think it's sad if a mom won't nurse her own child, but if she *can't*, well, I'd rather see the kid get breastmilk. I pumped and shared my milk for the first 7 months after my baby was born--I would have continued but I moved 2000 miles away! I've nursed other people's babies too, and I'm very comfortable with that. :)
BTW, I found you on mormonmommyblogs--I saw you were in the lead on the poll and came to see what all the fuss was about. Obviously I read 4 pages of the blog, LOL. Thanks for coming to visit me too! I love getting new visitors. :)
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