The January Mommy Moment of the Month

I had to make a second post today because it's award time!!

Well getting nominations for this actually made my job a little bit more difficult than easier. I loved reading the posts you suggested well as posts I randomly came across and suggestions that were emailed to me. I hate having to choose a "winner" myself BUT I'm excited to follow all of your blogs and keep them in mind for the next few months!!

The February Mommy Moment of the Month: Heather's post "I've been thinking..." She starts with a a poem about sticking to things. To be honest what won be over was the line:

"To be honest, being a mom really sucks sometimes. It is easy to get down or
frustrated or indifferent when you are still in your pj's at 4pm cleaning the
13th poopy diaper of the day and watching Elmo in Grouchland for the 3 millionth
time."

I loved her blunt honesty and how she expressed the ups and DOWNS of the precious calling, but most of all shares her love for motherhood. The Team Williams blog features Heather, her husband and her adorable little children who she's constantly educating about things such as Chinese New year. She shares a Flashback Friday picture every week which sometimes gives us a glimpse at what her life was like before motherhood.

I chose this post because it really hit the nail on the head with feeling like crap since being back from my vacation and getting back in the grove of LIFE... *sigh* but STICKING TO IT! :o)

It's a great little boost for anyone so be sure to check it out! I'm sure I'll look back at it in many years to come... especially once I've got my OWN rug rats!

So go on over and say hello to the Williams family! And if you see or write a post you like in February, be sure to nominate!

Ok I can't do it! I can't go without mentioning these other wonderful posts which were nominated:

Shayla was called a "wonder woman" and I COMPLETELY agree! She has 6 kids, her family is GORGEOUS! I don't know how she does it! But what I love most: She's keepin' it real! Check out this post, where she sets her daughter straight after throwing a temper tantrum.... My parents didn't play that either and after busting my butt they'd do this.

And did I mention I'm obsessed with twins? Well I am. And the Rosenthal Family is living my fantasy with two BEAUTIFUL boy/girl twins. Oh they also have adorable puppies who look like twins too which I think makes their family even more adorable. Their twin babies just turned one! Mrs. Rosenthal wrote a beautiful poem for them on their birthday that brought tears to my eyes. Check it out here.

So there it is! And here is your award!

Congrats! And keep the nominations coming!

Calling All Birth Stories!

I wrote a post a while back asking for birth stories. Maybe a new permanent spot for some wouldn't be so bad? Link here directly to your birth story! I'd love to read it!

The Family Tree--A Sad Revelation

Last summer I had the opportunity to stay with my great-grandfather in Atlanta, GA. He just turned 90 last month! How often to grown people still have great-grandparents alive? I think it would be really cool if we have a child while he's still around and he'll have his first GREAT-great-grandchild! Wouldn't that make a great picture?

Well last summer while I was staying with him he told me a lot about all of his children, and "my mother" as he'd call her but he really meant my grandmother (his daughter).

I wrote down a story he told me the day it happened because it was so powerful to see him, a 90 year old man, still grieve over his children.

May 9th, 2007

Dear Diary,

Since being here and talking with my great-grandpa I've been able to put two and two together about some things finally. It's like playing connect the dots. I can take all of the stories I learn about my grandmother's childhood, and before she was born, and stick it to everything she's told me, and everything I already know about her in her adult age.

Not many people get to hear first-hand stories about their grandparents growing up as rebellious children from THEIR parent's perspective. I swear my great-grandpa could go on for days about his life. Today I heard a few shocking stories. One being how he remembers his mom having to sand down their floors so he and his siblings wouldn't get splinters playing on the hard wood floors.

His wife of forty years passed away nine years ago. "She was the love of my life" he tells me. This was his second wife. His first wife and he split after ten years of marriage. His children all have grandchildren, and none of them visit him much. So he's pretty much a lonely man with a lot of stories bottled up. I woke up this morning and I had planned on going back up to the station to edit a story together for my tape. I wasn't planning on staying at home for long, and I was working on my paper resume when he came in.

Loving his company, and knowing he loves mine, I started to show him pictures on my computer. I was showing him some pictures of a dog show I went to and it reminded him of the dog he had. So he brought in a box, full of pictures of his family. They were all in frames. The box also had about 20 empty frames at the bottom. He said he planned on putting every one's picture in each frame but he hasn't gotten around to it yet.

I saw a picture of one of his sons—my great uncle. I knew he had died but I didn't know how. I never knew how my older relatives died, and I really never cared that much until this summer. I had always just assumed they were old.

"How did he die?" I asked. This is becoming a common question of mine. I immediately knew talking about this death wasn't going to be easy. I could tell by the look on his face.

He told me he wasn't sure if he should tell me. He didn't know if my grandmother would want me to know. I was beginning to wonder if I really wanted to know. But my curiosity got to me.

"Is it scary?" I asked. He nodded.
"Did it have to do with a car accident?"
"No," he replied.
"Does it happen to do with devils?"
"What?" He looked at me confused.
"Devils?... Was he possessed?" I added.
"No," he told me. I was happy then. I could handle just about anything
else. But then I thought of one other possibility.
"Was he murdered?" I asked again.
"Maybe," he replied. "I'm just going to let you read the article."

I knew this was going to be hard for him so I told him I didn't have to know. He told me he would go out of the room if he had to. He handed me the newspaper article. "DEATH WISH--HE KILLED THAT HE MIGHT BE KILLED" the headline read. I read on... The article described the horrible day when my great uncle shot and killed his mother, a man working in his home and a bank teller. He also shot his step-father. Then a SWAT team member shot and killed him while he was in the bank. The article said it was his death wish. It said he was a loner, not very social, and instead of doing a private suicide he did this. I was so sad.

"Do you know why this happened?" I asked my great-grandpa. Stupid question I know.
"No," he told me.

He went on to explain how he had been a part of a sort of black panther group but came back and was always really quiet after that. Growing up he had lived with his grandmother (one of my great-great-grandmothers). He told me how he was just down the street when this happened and he didn't even know it was going on. Another one of his sons called him and asked if he knew what was going on. He didn't, and so he told him to sit down and explained what happened.

I was still in shock.
"Wow, that's so sad," I thought out loud. "He killed his mother."
"I know I shouldn't keep these things," my great grandpa started. And he
started to cry.

I hugged him and told him it's ok. I really didn’t know what to say. I had just learned of a secret my family has kept from me my whole life. But not only that... Just knowing that my 88 year-old great-grandpa has four children and he's already outlived half. One just died of cancer, another I'm told, seems to be irresponsible an immature (although he's 65) another is my grandmother who lives across the country in Nevada, and the last killed his own mother and then himself.

It's very rare you see a grown man cry. And this was hard for me to bear. My great-grandpa seems to be a happy man, "especially since you're here" he tells me. I decided to take the day off and hang out with him all day.

I can't imagine what it must have been like to have a life changing experience such as he did. I guess children are entirely life-changing miracles bringing the bad in with the good.

The Selfish Fear

This is a very difficult, extremely sensitive topic to blog about. I'm almost ashamed to write it. It's something I've been thinking about, pondering over, dwelling on for the last couple of years.

I talk a lot of smack when it comes to the gender I want my first child to be. I go back and forth between wanting a boy or a girl first, but I really want twins being both genders. I'd pay money for that outcome... Oh yea, I've researched this. I also talk a lot of smack when it comes to deciding "when" to have a baby... As if it's all in my hands. But the more I discussed it with friends and family, the more I'd hear the phrase "healthy baby." That's what everyone really wants and what so many people take for granted.--I for sure sound like one of them.

I always just assumed I'd have healthy babies, and that I'll get pregnant whenever I want to. That had never been a question, a thought that crossed my mind. But we don't always choose those things do we?

A couple of years ago a friend of mine had a baby. She was completely healthy the entire pregnancy, she exercised often, ate well and was healthy before and during her pregnancy. There were complications during delivery and her baby has brain damage.

One of my best friends told me she wanted to have a baby last year. I didn't understand the rush but was excited that she and her husband were ready to try. She told me when she found out she was pregnant but a few weeks later she miscarried. Miscarriage--I never really knew what that meant until I was married. A woman I worked with had recently had a miscarriage. I remember talking to her about it an a painfully casual way. I'm sure I wasn't nearly as sincere or respectful as I should have been. I just didn't understand the "big deal". I didn't understand that feeling of a loss and had no idea what it was like to lose something that was wanted so badly.. A child. I still can't begin to understand how that must feel, I can only imagine, and it scares me.

My best friend conceived again, but a few months into the pregnancy she found out her baby had a rare disease. And wouldn't live long after birth--If he even lived that long. My heart went out to her. I was completely taken aback and I learned a lot from her in her journey. She and her husband grew so much spiritually and I admired their strength.

Since then I've been noticing more women I'm close to expressing their challenges with fertility problems, miscarriages, and children with disabilities or special needs. I've never been more frightened to have a child.

I've heard women express their frustrations with others about how hard it is on them, and how difficult it is hearing stories of other women who easily conceive, or have the "oops" story, while they themselves have been trying for months, even years with no luck!

I'm scared that will be me. I'm terrified that when I finally AM ready to be a mother I won't be able to. Wost of all, I'm scared I'll have a child with a disability, mostly because I'm scared I won't be able to handle a situation like that, and I worry my fears will give me exactly what I'm afraid of.

I've gone as far researching embryonic procedures that allow couples to see if their child will have disabilities before implantation (yea, it's that bad).

It's hard for me now to keep from being jealous of my happily spawning friends when as far as I know I'm perfectly capable of having my own (just not trying to). I can only imagine how green I'd turn when I'm trying to have one and can't. I don't know if I could deal with that, if I could be as strong as many of the women I've read about... As many of you have been.

Call me stupid, call me selfish, call me whatever you want but I'm being more honest than ever when I say that I'm scared and I don't know if I'd be able to handle it.


I'm entering this in Scribbit's October Write Away Contest

The Economy is Effecting Pregnancy Plans

A friend of mine sent me a story from MSNBC and it really made me stop and think... I'm not alone.

The economy is taking a toll on everyone, and it's making people like myself think twice about "the right time" to expand our family. We've been hit hard this week with economy problems. I hate it but I really feel like it's putting a damper on my plans.

*note added 1/30 By "damper" and "hit hard" I mean we've recently gone from two incomes to one and I can't imagine going from hardly taking care of myself to taking care of a whole nother being... Not to mention the stress! BUT I if I get an impression that having a child is what I'm suppose to do right now, I imagine I'd be able to take that leap of faith.*

Here are some interesting parts of the article I found:

Birth rates do tend to drop in times of economic uncertainty. There was a dramatic decline in fertility rates following the Great Depression in the 1930s, when, for the first time in U.S. history, women went from having an average of three children the previous decade to two.

In each year after the country’s last four recessions, general fertility rates — calculated as the number of women of child-bearing age per thousand who gave birth — dipped slightly. For example, in the year following the 1973-1975 recession, fertility rates dropped from 68.8 in 1973 to 65 in 1976...

Without a doubt, in good economic times or bad, raising a child is an expensive proposition. According to “Expenditures on Children by Families,” an annual report put out by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, a middle-class family making more than $77,100 will spend nearly $300,000 raising a child from birth to age 17 — and that doesn’t even take into account college tuition or inflation.

And here's a story I found to be so interesting:

Michelle and Paul Anderson, two Seattle-based high-tech professionals, were delighted to learn they were pregnant with their first child earlier this year, until they both found themselves laid off from their jobs and paying out-of-pocket for health insurance.

Friends and relatives, cash-strapped themselves, haven’t been able to help with baby gifts as much as they anticipated. “Being pregnant makes this very stressful on both of us,” says Anderson. We have trouble sleeping and we worry all the time.”

I can't believe that!... But I can. Times are tough and it's scary/hard enough to bring a soul into this world, imagine not being able to support a family.

It makes sense to me... The correlation between the bad economy and lower birth rates. Would it change your plans? Some people say "What's one more mouth to feed?" And other's say "You'll never have enough money anyway." Regardless, tough times make for tough decisions when it comes to growing a family.

It's really going to take a giant leap of faith in order for me to take the plunge with times being the way they are now.

Let me know what you think vote in the poll on this topic and feel free to elaborate in a comment.

You can read the full article here.

The Boob Check

Wow! Two posts about boob in one month, that's great! But this time instead of blogging about milk-filled boobs, instead I'm blogging about lumpy boobs. Sexy right?

I discovered a lump in one of my breasts a while back. I had it checked out by a doctor at BYU last year and he told me it was probably a cyst and to come back if it grew.

Nearly a year later I was convinced it was bigger, and decided to go for a second opinion. This was after hearing one of my friends in her 30s was diagnosed with breast cancer, and after doing a series on breast cancer awareness for my station. I met several women who were diagnosed too late, or at first turned away because the doctors said they were "too young." After hearing stories from several breast cancer survivors I decided I wasn't going to take no for an answer, I was going to get the lump checked out again and I was going to get a mammogram.

I was due for my regular OB visit so while I was there I asked her to check it out. She told me I should definitely get it looked at and she referred me to a clinic to give me a mammogram.

About a week later it was time for my appointment. I was scared. The woman at the counter looked at my chart and told me since I was so young they'd do an ultrasound first instead. I was slightly confused for a moment... "I'm not pregnant" I thought. But I quickly realized a boob ultrasound is what she meant. I decided to let it slide, see how that went before asking for the mammogram... Or whatever was going to truly identify this lump.

The doctor looked at my ultrasound pictures and told me it wasn't a cyst and I needed to take the pictures to another doctor. "I have cancer" I thought. I was actually pretty sure. I wandered aimlessly for weeks, daydreamed at work, was beginning to dream up a true bucket list.

The time came for the third doctor to examine my lump and finally diagnose me. He told me there was less than a 1% chance it was cancerous, but that he thought it was some kind of benign tumor/nastyness that could keep growing. I wasn't convinced. I hear too many women say their doctors told them the same thing then come to found out it was cancer!!

I decided to just get it all taken out and examined to make sure.

Here's what I wrote about my surgery experience:

I felt like I was in a movie.. or in an episode of ER. I'm not sure why but I pictured myself walking into the hospital, getting half undressed and having the procedure done while I'm half asleep. Instead, I was directed to a room and instructed to change into hospital clothing, surgery clothes, and I'm talking from head to toe. From my socks to my surgery hat this was serious business.

I think all the getup made me nervous. They had me down for the right procedure right? I was going in for a LBB (left boob biopsy). They had me repeat my name, my birthday, my doctor's name and my procedure several times, I guess to make sure they didn't mix me up with the guy getting the heart transplant. I knew they were being careful when they wrote "yes" on my left shoulder to signify that's the correct side to work on. It took me back to a story Brian once told me about a man who had the wrong leg amputated in surgery and ended up with no legs rather than at least one.

A few moments later the anesthesiologist came in to tell me about drugging me up, he hooks my hand up to the liquid drug and I start to feel nice. Then he tells me he's going to inject the anesthetic. You mean I didn't have it already? After he pushes it in my hand starts to BURN sooooo bad! If you've read all the Twilight books then you know where I'm going with the feeling... I seriously felt like my veins were on FIRE! I wanted to ask if it was suppose to feel that way and just when I was about to, my doctor walked in and started talking to the drug dealers--I'd wait until he left again. They started to roll my bed down the hall and I'm ready to ask about the burning... It's hurting! ....Next thing I know my doctor is in front of me again.

He asked me how I felt and all I could say was tired, I was about to fall asleep from the anesthetic... right? He was telling me everything went well, and explaining what had happened. Did we already have the operation? I was confused. I waited until he walked out of the room to check my boob. Sure enough, I had a scar, I couldn't believe I had missed it all. I vaguely remember them putting an oxygen mask on me, and removing my sleeve, but that was it.

I'm a little disappointed. I'd heard my friends tell stories of getting out under and being instructed to count down from 100 and finding they only got to 99. Childishly, I wanted to push myself to stay awake as long as possible. I also kind of wanted to see what they took out of me. Hopefully there won't be a next time but if there is... I'll try harder.

********

The nastyness did turn out to be benign, but I haven't stopped checking my boobs! My message to women: CHECK YOUR BOOBIES! You'll never know what you might find. Check no matter if you don't have kids, have kids, have milk in 'em too, check them once a month! If you'd like a rundown of how to do it here's a link.

The Calling

Ever since I've been old enough to be in Relief Society I've been called to teach in Relief Society. It's the calling that won't leave me alone. My husband and I have moved about 6 or 7 times since being married. That at least 5 different wards and in EVERY ward I have been called to that same calling. No lie, I have never done anything else.

My most recent abduction to the calling was in Springville, Utah. When I received a phone call requesting a meeting with the bishop I knew what was coming.

"I'm going to say no," I'd whine to my husband. "I have had it! I can't escape it and I know it's coming for me again." I talked about it as if it were a relentless plague coming to get me, kill me for good.

It wasn't that I hated what I was doing, I was just tired of doing it.

Come Sunday (or whatever day it was the bishop called me in) he said the dreaded words I only hoped I wouldn't hear: "We'd like to call you to be a Relief Society teacher."

I was only half expecting the words I said to follow: "I'll pray about it." The look on his face was something to the effect of: Oh no she didn't! I could tell he wasn't expecting that response either. He asked me to get back to him within the week and I did... of course accepting the calling. Although I'm still pretty sure the bishop couldn't stand me after that.

In our most recent move to Austin I haven't been given a calling yet. I started at a new ward in January and I know a calling is coming soon. Sunday after sacrament I was waiting for my husband in the chapel when a woman approached me. I'm a little hesitant at first. Here's my strategy: Be extra nice to primary people, make sure they know how much I LOOOOOVEE kids, and be more shy around RS women, don't let them know how cool I am. This woman had a baby on her arm and I immediately went soft.

"This isn't my baby," she said. "Sister Smith's husband sits on the stand so I help her watch her kids during sacrament." She talked about how she loves kids and I jumped right in, blurting out all of my business.

"Me too, I'm actually hoping I get a calling in primary or something so I can work with them," I exclaimed. "I need to be really nice to the Primary President or something because I'm ALWAYS called as a Relief Society teacher."

"Oh," she smiled. "Well my husband is the bishop so I'll see if I can put in a good word for you."

[insert foot in mouth]

Good thing I have such dark skin because all of the blood was rushing to my face and all I could manage to say was "oh really?!" She probably thought I planned the whole thing.

Just then a short man walks up and introduces himself "Hi, I'm Bishop M. I had my wife grab you so I could introduce myself."

"Cool," was pretty much all I could think to say. I'm usually not hard to catch, but all I was thinking was 'you're the bishop? I thought it was the other guy with the brown hair.' I'm always thrown off when there's an extra high council member on the stand (you LDS people know what I'm talking about).

He asked to speak with me for a moment and I feared what was coming. I saw his wife whisper in his ear before we turned out of the chapel. I knew what she was doing, but it gave me little comfort... More embarrassment actually.

As we made our way into his little office I thought of a strategy: Get to him before he gets to you.

He sat me down and asked me one simple question: "So tell me about yourself." And that was all I needed.

"Well, I moved here in June but was going to a different ward because of the time difference, and I have work at 1:30 and I'm so glad this ward, our real ward, is starting at 9am now and I'm so excited to be here, and everyone seems so nice and I am really excited for a calling but I've had the same calling for the last five years and I don't know if it's because the Lord is trying to tell me something or if it's because I always go to those enrichment meeting things when I start in a new ward then the ladies try to--"

"--Immediately give you a call in Relief Society, I understand." He interrupted me, but I could tell he could feel where I was going with this.

'YESSSS' I thought to myself. 'Success!'

"So you basically would like any calling but one in the Relief Society?" He asked me.

"Yes," I replied a little too quickly.

"Great, well I can almost assure you that won't happen. We don't need you there right now." He goes on to tell me they (whoever they are) are meeting on Tuesday to discuss callings and they may come up with something then.

So there I am glowing... 'I'll do anything' I'm thinking. I met up with my husband in Sunday school and couldn't wait to tell him the news.

"I'm going to get a different calling!" I cried.

Now here I am, excited for Sunday, or whenever it is that I'll get a call about a calling. I'm a little worried that I said anything, but as long as it's not something like Gospel Doctrine teacher I'll be happy. But seriously people IS A PRIMARY CALLING SO MUCH TO ASK?! I thought I'd be a key candidate.. Young, married, happy, spawnless. What else do they want from me?

Nonetheless I'm excited to find out what my calling will be for the FIRST TIME. Solely because I know it won't be Relief Society teacher, the calling I've been damned with for the last 5 years.

Is it just me, or does this happen to you too?

The F Word

I wanted to scream it out tonight. Don't you hate it when you are trying your best, maybe even being better than you normally are, then life throws a wrench in your plans?

Things were looking up and now they're looking down. I guess it's just the Lord's way of reminding me who's boss.

The Trip--Chapter 2

As we waited for the illusionist show to start the announcer said they were playing one more game of BINGO, the winner would get $1000. My husband told me to get a card so I did. He thought it was free, it wasn't. Sometimes my life feels like BINGO... A game of chance. It cost $20 for that BINGO card... We lost. And boy did it suck.

****

I woke up thinking of only one thing. I want a baby. It was almost as if a gravitational force was pulling my brain in the direction of ONLY baby thoughts. The Urge was back, and it wasn't going away. Here I was in paradise, and I was nearly brought to tears every time I saw a small child.

"A Fun Day at Sea" is what Carnival cruise lines calls the days this ship doesn't dock at an island and offers a plethora of food and activities on board. A schedule is placed on our bed the night before with an hour by hour list of things to do. Dancing, water fights, scrap booking, bear making, putting contests, basketball. We agreed on food, sleep, gym, dancing, and dodge ball. I was the only woman playing dodge ball but trust me, I represent.

When it was all said and done I had a lot of "thinking time" on those days at sea, and I think a lot. And when I think a lot and don't have an outlet (ahem, such as blogging) I blurt it all out vocally.

I try not to bring all the baby talk up to the husband... He's ridden my roller coaster ride of mind and mood swings a long long time and I try my best to keep my urges to myself. This part of the trip though, I couldn't help it. Poor guy. Everything was "I want our kids to do this" or "think our kids will like that?" Then "When?..." "...Why not?" "How come?..." So much for romance and love talk.

One afternoon while I was basking in the sun on the ship, listening to the Caribbean music I glanced over and noticed a little boy, who couldn't even have been two, dancing... More like bobbing or bouncing to the music. I see kids do this all the time but this was just the cutest thing. I had to get a hold of myself, I was turning into mush.

As we were laying there my wandering eyes veered off in another direction and I noticed another group of children. They looked to be between the ages of six and 10. And that's when I was slapped in the face with another realization. My gaze paced back and forth between the toddler and the kids and I thought I don't want that. The baby-Yes, toddler-Sure, but adolescents? I don't think so.

All this time I've been googly-eyed over pregnant bellies and wobbly little ones, not kids that can talk back to me, argue with me, one day become teenagers and hate me, later forgive me then go away to college and leave me! I just graduated from college myself, I'm not ready to raise my own kid to grow up and go to college!

Ok, so this all happens in a span of 20 or so years but still! I can't help but wonder if that's why so many of my friends, and many of fellow blog friends have the urge for more... THE LITTLE ONES are the fun and cute ones! Once the others turn two or so it's time for another infant! What's up with that?!

I thought of all of these things as I watched the little dancing boy, his proud parents behind him, and the now gathering crowd cheering him on. Looking at the older kids playing in the pool I noticed their parents weren't cheering them on, watching their tricks or even watching them with those adoring eyes. When does that transformation happen? It is like the child that begs for a puppy and loves it until it's grown then begs for another PUPPY?

I closed my eyes and thought more about what I really wanted and what I was really ready for, and felt a slight sting of regret for bringing up the almost-too-often roller coaster discussion of childrearing.

The Mom Moment Awards

Who needs an Emmy when you can get one of these?:
Common, you know you want one! As I've been blog stocking people I've been trying to remember the coolest mom moments I read during the month so I can feature them here on this blog! These are moments I may want to remember once I'm a mom... Whether it's something that makes me laugh, something that'll keep me grounded, or something that may just help me feel a little better about myself ;o)

Since I've been so busy this month I haven't had as much time to find a cool January post, so I need your help with nominations! I plan on doing a better job featuring them from now on. Instead of just a small commentary and re-post I'll do a more detailed commentary and small feature of the blog itself too!

Remember, It doesn't have to be an actual MOTHER (as in birthed a human being) to be nominated. I'm not even a mom myself so I don't discriminate. I welcome posts from potential, future and maybe-one-day mothers as well!

If you have a nomination please send it my way in a comment! And don't be shy, if you have a post you've written that you like please, have no shame nominate yourself! (I'd do it!)

The Winners...

Thanks so much to all of your who participated in my first giveaway! Unfortunately I'm not the craftiest person right now as far as kiddo things go, and I have nothing really cool for little boys yet but I hope these bows will find a fun place in your home or make a good gift! Plus there's lots of fun stuff for mommy!

I did a video drawing since only 18 people entered and it wasn't necessary to use random.com or anything like that. Please excuse my looks... I Don't feel a need to get all done up my last few days of vacation... I'm enjoying the non-makeup days. Oh and excuse my reporterish nod at the end... Habit I guess.

If you can't see it: Congrats Randi, mother of Hudson and Jenna mother of Audrey! Email me your info and I'll mail your basket off this week!

I'm sorry if you didn't win. I never win these things either so don't feel bad! I'm planning on having a fun contest once I get to my 100th post, so in about a month or so... I'm thinking picture contest but we'll see. I have a month to think of something cool and develop another craft. Any ideas?

In other news... I'll post part 2 and 3 of my trip over the next couple of days. Oh yea, get excited.

The Trip--Parte Uno

As we're waiting to board our flight from Austin to Orlando an older man approaches me an asks: "Excuse me miss. Do you happen to know what the abbreviation L-M-A-O stands for?"

I stared at him for a moment trying to figure out if he's being serious. "Yes," I confirmed. He waited for a more specific answer, so I gave in.
"Laughing My Ass Off." I told him.
"Oh," he chuckled. "So it's kind of an extension of Laughing Out Loud?"
"Yea..."

That's when I knew this was going to be an interesting vacation.

We arrived and went through the check-in process fairly quickly. Then it was time to strut my stuff and eat all I could.

The days and nights of being with the hub-a-lub 24/7 were NOT taken for granted. I'm talking no interruptions, made our own schedule, did whatever the heck we wanted with no worries in the back of our minds kind of FUN. Trust me, I did not take that for granted for one second.

We woke up early, ate breakfast, then strolled the streets of the Bahamas, snorkeled and kayaked in the beautiful blue waters.

We shopped, we talked, we ate, slept, then later we danced and ate some more. And this wasn't just any food. I'm talking four to five course meal ranging from the most delicious steak you'd ever sink your teeth into, to the most delicate and delightful lobster tail you'd ever taste. Oh, and don't forget the chocolate melting cake for dessert... My FAVORITE!

We did go to the gym... Ok I only went once, it was dreadful. But I did play dodgeball with the boys! Our team barely lost the matches 3-4.

Sunday, the second night was the Night of Elegance. I loved getting dressed to the nine and showing off my hunk. We stood out because we were so young compared to most of the other couples (no joke, I think the average age on this ship was 50), and we... Well, we stand out.

The first few days I didn't have an ounce of envy for the families I saw scrambling around. I saw kids running rampid, stress on mothers' faces. Things I can happily wait years to deal with.

But around the third night my attitude began to change. I scanned through the pictures from the few days before and stopped at this one. A picture we took during sunset on the Night of Elegance. "I look like a grown woman." I thought aloud. I feel and am very young but I was surprised at my happiness in the fact that I'm beginning to look as mature as I sometimes feel. Maybe it was the shadows, or the dress I was wearing. Or perhaps it was the handsome man I was posing with. Whatever it was, it made this the first picture I've seen of myself where I feel as if I look like I could be a mom.

That night I fell asleep dreaming of a child of our own.

The List- Update 1

Yep, another one bites the dust. I leave you guys for a week, come back, and half of yall are knocked up again ;o)

Yes I'm back from my trip and it was AmAzInG! I'll update soon... But probably have to break it up into a few parts.

Well it's time to update the list. Remember my cute friend Mrs. Cook? Well, #2 is cooking for her too! Congrats Jamie, (also my first mommy of the month selection).

Jessica F. found out she's pregnant too! Oh but it doesn't stop there. My friend Jessica I, who was on my short, ever-so-shrinking list of friends without kids is also expecting! She apparently had to take 4 test to believe it. Congrats Jessica and Reece--Yall are no longer in my cool club.

So I have 4 friends (so far who are out of the closet) due in August. For 2 it's their first and for 2 it's their second. I wasn't predicting Jessica and Reece to be next but I am sure excited for them!

Chow and Russ
Cody and Marco
Becky and Ryan
Gina and Cody
Heidi and William
Heather and Bryce
Hilary and Cory
Kim and Clay
Jana and Dave
Jen and John
Jessica and Reece-Due 08/09
Megan and Claudy
Randi and Chad
Sarah and Dave
Shannon and John
Sharyl and Sonny
Stephanie and Patrick
Stacey and Spencer

The Jealous Factor

Some of my friends here in Austin don't believe I have lots of friends who are married with kids but I dedicate this blog to the proof. And they make me sick! Ok... Not really but look...

Take Exhibit A for example. This is my friend Kristen and her family. Her little boy is 2 years old and such a cutie! Don't they look like they're living a life of bliss.

Exhibit A

Now let's look below to Exhibit B. Tanya and I have been friends since high school. She moved into my ward a long long time ago and we've keep in touch since. Now mostly through blogging. I remember when she told me she was pregnant with this little one and now #2 is cooking. Young, beautiful, mom.

Exhibit B

Just when you think it couldn't get any better we're brought to Exhibit C. The Cooks. I worked with Jamie while attending BYU. She was the cutest pregnant TV show host you'd ever see! I was one of her successors but I don't think my belly ever looked as adorable as hers.Exhibit C

Mind you all of these women are 25 or younger! So my Austin friends, you can stop makin' me feel like I'm the only young person in the world crazy for getting married young and contemplating spawning.

Oh and trust me, there's more where that came from, here's a few more:

And really, it doesn't end! I'll just stop now so I don't seem like a complete picture stalker psycho.

Is it just me or does youthful spawning automatically give you a gorgeous aura?

The Goodbye

No, of course not forever just for a week or so. I feel so sad leaving all of my new found blog readers and blog friends. I hope you're still here when I get back! I'm off on my potentially life changing trip.

I'm not gonna lie though, it's hardest saying goodbye to Snoop. I wanted to cry today when I left him staring at me at the top of the stairs. I have no idea how I'll ever be able to have children feeling the way I do about my dog! I stress like a maniac about him! How do you women do it?!?!

In other news, I got a request from one of my friends on a topic of post she'd like to see me blog about. The request not only made me feel special but gave me an idea! If you have a question you'd like to ask me that I can blog about or a topic you'd like to hear my opinion on let me know! I'll look them over when I get back and get right back to blogging.

I'll miss you my blogging friends. But I shall return. In the mean time, enter my first contest! (It's in the post below this one)

The First Giveaway

Since I'm going to be gone for a week I'm leaving you with something kinda fun.

As promised I'm having my first contest/giveaway! I hope you like it! Here's what you'll get!:
-3 Handmade crocheted baby hair bows... Made by yours truly! I'll include 3 interchanging bows so you can mix and match!
-Chocolate covered mints (my favorite)
-Pretty scented body lotion OR Pretty scented bath beads (I like to smell good)
-A pink (my favorite color, sorry) photo album
-Baby oil *wink* (be creative people)
-What I thought was a baby chew toy but it's actually a Tigger gel pack for owies OR A soft green baby blanket
-And we can't forget our furry friends! You'll also get a cute doggie bandanna and a dog (or cat) picture frame (not pictured)
-Finally, you get to keep the nice decorative basket that it all comes in!
*Disclaimer, you have to send me a pic of either your baby in a cute hair bow or the blanket or something, if you win! I want to see my craft in action!
And if you're like me, and don't have human spawn, but also have no urgent need for baby bows and don't want to use them as gifts, perhaps I'll exchange it for a cute dog collar hand made by muah! You can see photos of what I make at JustFurDoggies.

What you have to do to enter:
-Follow me (click the link on the right) and/or put a link to me on your blog
-Post a comment on this post telling me you did it! How easy! Right?

-You can get an extra entry if you link to this contest post and let me know!

I'll have a drawing when I get back on the 24th. Ok... Maybe on the 25th (give me a day ok?) Let's say you have until midnight the night of the 24th to enter. Then I'll put all of the names in a bag and draw not one but TWO winners! Woohoo, aren't you excited? Your chance of winning just doubled (is that the right math? I have no idea).

So good luck! Have fun and tell your friends (or don't if you're worried they'll beat you). I Hope you win!