The Scary Regret

I try to live my life with no regrets. From time to time there are little things I wish I didn't say or do, but overall, I don't have (m)any major regrets. That's not to say things haven't been difficult. Thinking about how we bought our condo just a year and a half before a major recession and housing crisis doesn't give my stomach the best feeling, but we felt good about it. I have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. Luckily we found a great renter, and we're praying she'll stay another year.

Moving half-way across the country wasn't easy. Sometimes we miss our family and friends, and wonder why we left... But I know if we didn't move here I'd be complaining about the snow, and wondering worlds of "what ifs" about moving. And I'm actually liking Austin... A lot. I think I could actually make this place home.

I've never regretted getting married when I did. In fact, I think that was probably the best decision I've made in my life. I was young, two weeks short of my 19th birthday, but I knew that I was not making a mistake.

Now I'm approaching life's next stage, one of the final stages of adulthood...Parenting, and I can't help but think about all of the timing questions and what I'll think after--Years after. Everyone always says "it'll change your life" I know that... That's part of the reason why you choose to take that step. Many people then say "...But I wouldn't trade [baby name] for the world." I'm so glad that's the case, I'd feel bad if you regretted your decision. But occasionally I do get the response "If I could do it over and get the same children I probably would have waited longer," and that is what scares me. Hindsight is great when it comes to things you'll have a chance to do over... But going from being a non-parent to being a parent is kind of a one-time thing. So the only reasonable solution I can think of is learning from the wise.

Only once has someone told me "If I could do it over I wouldn't have waited as long to have children." If my memory serves me correctly he had had several kids, all were grown, but apparently he and his wife waited a few years.

I LOVE all of the time I'm getting to spend with my Boo right now. He makes me breakfast, when I come home for lunch he's making me something yummy, and dinner time we'll eat together and watch a favorite TV show or movie. We've never got to spend as much time together as we do now, (though our first year of marriage we took four classes together and that was probably pretty close) and I'm realizing this fun quality time at home and little cheap outings around town is just as treasured as the fun big trips (which we don't get to do often anyway). What's one more person joining in on the fun?

While I'm really enjoying our pre-parenting stage of life, and not stressing about our future as much, I do wonder... Will I regret waiting or not waiting? Five, ten or fifteen years from now, will I look back and think "I could have waited longer?" And what do I want for my children? Do I want my little girls to grow up, get married and have babies when they're still young themselves? Or do I wish for them minds off boys, instead focusing successful careers and bettering themselves? Whatever it is, shouldn't I at least give myself that same advice?

The Challenge

I'm worried I'm going to be a bad example for my kids. I always told myself "when I have kids we have to have FHE (family home evening) EVERY WEEK," "I want to have family scripture study and prayer NIGHTLY," and "We have to make it to church ON TIME." Great goals to have, but how am I going to do that then if I can't do that now? I want to say I'm a bad mother and I'm not even a mother yet! Oh dear... That's good for myself esteem. Future kids I'm sorry... I'm trying to get ready and I'm glad you'll soon forget the bad example I'm being right now.

One of the most difficult things for me to do it wake up. I LOVE sleeping in. Even if it's just until 9 o'clock it makes a WORLD of a difference. I only have to wake up at 7am 3 days a week for work (the other two days I don't have to be at work until 1) and I HATE waking up for work during the week. It's horrible. Sundays, I try to get up by 8 so we can be at church on time at 9... How many times has that happened lately? ONCE!! It's pathetic. How am I suppose to be able to not only dress myself, but little people for church every week? I can tell now that sleep is going to be my ultimate sacrifice for parenting. Not getting fat, not stretching and ripping Lord knows what body parts. Not reducing my personal time, but SLEEP!
HELP!!
PS: sorry for the second post today, it wasn't my intent to hog your feeds. This was just a problem for me today as I struggled to put myself together before church and I thought you'd have words of wisdom for next week :)

*****

Today is my 4 month anniversary of starting this blog! Woohoo! It's also time to draw a winner for my 100th post contest. I got sooo much good mommy advice, and ideas for future posts as well as ideas for cute baby boy stuff to give away in the future. Random.org selected number 38 so the lucky winner is *drum roll please*... Pam from Hands on Learning Fun. Who is actually having a giveaway of her own right now so go check it out!

If you missed this giveaway, don't give up!! I have another one going on right now that ends in a couple of days! So enter away!

The Discombobulation

I have a million topics and ideas flowing through my mind for my blog but none of them seem like the right thing to write about right now. I feel like I need to document my progress at the task at hand and let this be my night's notion.

Ok first off... Mission sort of successful with not talking about babies as much. My friends at work keep flaunting their adorable babies at me so I just can't help myself!! I just cave... But I don't say anything about ME having babies per-say, I just talk about how cute their babies are. I'm being good about not threatening to steal them anymore. I think that made people think I was crazy. I do take part in baby topics and interesting things I'm learning form you all about birth and labor and babies and random facts I had no idea about (I feel another "things they don't tell you" post coming on). All of a sudden I had been deemed the "obsession girl," I corrected them though, and we settled for the term "intrigued." I'm intrigued by all things baby right now. Plus, there's another girl I work with who I think I've converted to wanting a kid, and she's kind of starting to take my spot as the "obsessed one"--Mission nearly accomplished. Although I'm not the one who is pregnant or has a baby I'm finding myself always in the middle of conversations about random labor/pregnancy/ pre-pregnancy facts ie: Eating your placenta is good for you. Interesting-- Yes. But will I or anyone I know do it--Umm, no, probably not. But it make for interesting conversation right? And who else would know that (or maybe just bring it up) but me? Although I've backed off from bringing the conversations up, I'm finding they're coming to me now... And get this... I'm even getting to watch this little cutie a couple days a week soon once his mommy goes back to work, thanks to my known love for kiddos. So I guess my "intriguedness" is paying off.

Anyway, another one of my friends announced her pregnancy this week. This one wasn't on my cool list... I actually haven't known her long enough to put her on it, so she was kicked off before even getting on *sigh.*

In other news, I've decided I'm going to get my IUD taken out next month. Have I mentioned that yet? I may have said that I was thinking about it, but now I'm thinking I'm going to. We're going to the doctor in a few weeks and I'm going to set an appointment then to get it taken out. This doesn't mean I'm turning the Baby Making Machine "ON" it just means I'm warming it up. I'm hoping by taking it out it'll give me time to get the hormones out of my system and track my... Ya know. They say you should be able to get pregnant right away once you get it taken out but I figure this will warm both of us up to the idea more, and put us a baby step closer to being ready. Some people have told me about a couple of books to get when you get to this stage. Remind me of them and a few more again! I will be stopping by yalls Amazon linky portal thingies!

I've been thinking a lot about that lately... Being ready that is. I've been feeling pretty rock steady about my feelings on the matter lately, but I'm also praying for patients and understanding. I've applied for a few jobs for my husband and he has an interview for one on Monday (aren't I awesome?) I feel like if he gets this job he'll feel a lot better about money and whatnot... But I'm also not setting myself up for disappointment. I'm trying to be understanding and realistic.

Do you remember Pres. Monson's talk last conference called "The Joy in the Journey"? That was part of the inspiration for this blog and I've been thinking about that talk a lot lately. He tells us to enjoy the messes on the floor when your kids are young because one day they'll be all grown up.. etc etc. Well I'm thinking the same way about life now. I don't want to spend all of my time worrying about "when" we're taking the next step. I'm really going to try to enjoy where we're at right now... Even if it's just enjoying the quiet alone time we have now to cuddle and watch movies together every night... We won't get much of that once we have kids. Enjoying the time we have picking up and going for a drive at a moments notice. Going on vacations. Out to a quiet dinner. Pigging out on junk food and staying up late talking about our future and goals we have. A lot of those things we'll still get to do, but not as freely. I really am going to try to focus on enjoying what we do have now, and where we are, rather than taking away from what we're experiencing NOW, because I'm too focused on the future.

Regardless of what happens in the near future, I'm so blessed to have what we have, and I'm SO excited for General Conference. I can't help but feel like I'll get it this time--Get something, we'll see.

The Hurt Feelings

No, you don't have to through me a pity party, or give me cheese with my wine, or even play the worlds smallest violin, I'm just asking you let me vent for a minute and possibly give me an "Amen" if you feel me.

I know what it's like to hear people talk about wanting babies and it can be EXTREMELY annoying. I know how it feels... I've been there. Now, I fear I'm becoming that person I hate. I'm really trying not to. I hardly even talk about it around my friends, especially not the ones without kids... Or friends who aren't even married. Oh no, many of them just don't understand. I really try to keep all of my thought and urges contained at home, and here on this blog (where people can read as they please).

Well occasionally, my feelings for wanting a baby will slip. Usually this is ok around my closest friends. They won't bash me, cut me down, or try to convince me I'm crazy. No, especially not my married friends (the few on the list still without children), because a lot of them know what I'm talking about. But occasionally it'll slip around the wrong person and I get my feelings hurt.

Now even on my worst day, back in the day, when I thought my young married friends craving babies were weird--Really weird, I never said they shouldn't do it. I'd maybe try to convince them why it would be cooler to wait with me... Travel, have fun, be young and spontaneous! But I'd never sincerely tell someone not to do it, or explain to them why I though they weren't ready--That's none of my business, and just like I wouldn't want someone telling me I'm "evil" or "threaten me" for waiting, I tried to show people the same respect.

Well, sometimes when it slips with me I'll get a snide response like "well could you afford it?"--Maybe not, but even if I couldn't I don't really need someone else reminding me, I mean don't you think I'd know that people person?

I can't help but feel like I'm turning into that annoying woman... But see, I think it's weirder outside of Utah. In Utah everyone talks about babies, you get use to it and it eventually becomes less annoying. Here... If you mention you want a kid more than once a month you're all of a sudden the person with an obsession. Ok, ok... So I have a baby blog and no baby. So what?

That's it! No more baby talk... Not outside of here that is. I'm tired of people making their own assumptions of why I am not fit to be a mom. If you want to try to convince me of why it's cooler to stay on the cool list that's fine, or if you want to tell me why I should just go ahead and get knocked up... Be my guest, but it stings a little when you tell me I shouldn't because you don't think I'm ready.

The Plague

Well that's what you'd think he has when he's sick!

When I have a headache, I'm down in the dumps, feeling sick to my stomach, overly tired, I usually keep it to myself. That's not exactly the case with my dear hubby. See... I've never really been a nurturer at heart. Growing up, I wasn't really babied when I was sick. I've only been sick from work once or twice in my entire life. I may think I have deadly diseases but when it comes to showing it I suck it up.

I guess when it comes to being sick we all have our preferences for how we'd like to be treated. I like my space. I'll take a nap and try to sleep it off. My better half... A headache will out him out for the rest of the day and he'll be whining through the entire process.

If his stomach hurts he'll insist he's about to throw up... Go spit in the toilet and say he did. It's actually quite humorous.

It took me a few years to realize it was love and affection he needs during his "sick" moments. Where I would rather pop an aspirin and be done with it, he's rather a more "natural nurturing" approach. I didn't get it at first, in fact I'd get pretty angry. But over time I learned to endure and suffer quietly. I've found I've actually adapted, and I don't really mind babying him and nurturing him back to headache-free health. It's nice because it makes him feel better, he appreciates me more, and I feel better about making him feel better. Funny how that works.

Anyway, I'm glad WE got that problem worked out but I still wonder about my kids. Will my self-diagnosis of disease and his consistent feeling of sickness wear off on our kids? Maybe we should make a deal that we won't talk about being sick or dying around our kids... That way they won't go to class telling their teacher their mom has cancer and their dad has lammonia (ok I totally made up that disease) or brain damage (ok maybe he has a little of that) or whatever!

Are you afraid of random character traits carrying on to your children?

The Pregnancy Pushers

I've had my somewhat against the grain attitude toward motherhood for years now. I'd say about two years into my marriage is when it really hit its peak. Since then I've calmed down and begun to somewhat understand WHY people want to have kids.

One summer... It was actually just for about a month, I worked at a credit union. Most of the women there talked daily about wanting to have kids. We were all married, and I seemed to be the only one who thought everyone else had lost their minds! 'We're young... Practically babies ourselves, why in the world do you want to have kids now?' I'd think... And sometimes say.

There was one guy I worked with too. His wife had just had a baby. I was excited for them, not as excited as I would be for a friend nowadays, but still excited. I would ask him a lot of questions about parenting and how he liked it an such. He would tell me how great it was and joke with me and tell me I should have a child too. Lawd, on no he didn't! I'd have to stop that talk right on the spot. I knew I wasn't about to jump on THAT bandwagon yet. Both of us being a little sarcastic and pushing each others buttons got a little on each other's nerves. But I'll never forget one thing he said to me that I thought was so crazy... so mean, and just sounded WRONG:

"I HOPE you get pregnant," he spat at me.
"Why would you say something like that?" was the only response I could muster. I didn't know if I should retaliate, be angry, or scared with the way he said it.
"It's a good thing," he said. "It's not a bad thing to wish that for you." Oh yea? Well why did you say it like you were trying to put some kind of Voodoo Witch Curse on me?

Jenna said it best:
"There's a glaring difference between offering helpful advice and smugly saying, "Oh, you just wait...bwahahahahaha!" That's just mean-spirited and makes people sound bitter about their lives."

I think a similar example could be taken in my approach to marriage. When a friend of mine is contemplating marriage, or dreaming of how great it will be, I may say it's not all fun and games but I'm not going to say "Actually marriage is really really hard, just you wait and see... Most people get divorced, hopefully you're not one of them."

Or if someone is thinking of getting a puppy, thinking it'll cure their baby fever as I did, (and a few months later I fell immune)... I'm not going to say "Dogs are hard, just you wait... Oh, and I hope he PEES ALL OVER YOU!"

Ummm... That doesn't make it sound like I love my dog.

Ok different, yes, but really... Warning calls, maybe not the best idea to make someone want to join the parenting club.

No offense to them or anything but I hope I don't sound like that when I have kids.

Also, I know it's natural to be curious on when someone's wanting to have kids, but not everyone is as open and honest as me. Everyone is different and some people just don't want everyone all up in their business... As my friend Tara says "Stay out of my uterus!"

...But not you guys, you are welcome in my uterus at anytime! Just be careful who and how you tell people to "watch out," or you may scare them out of wanting kids... Ever.

The Break

If you've been reading about my dilemma here and then the conversations here then you know what I mean when I say I've had a lot on my mind. I've come to terms with the fact that everything will work out. I think I want to address two ideas that were brought up in the comments section and wrap up my whiny rants and pull my husband out from under the bus.

First, on not using birth control, but not trying... Hubs is definitely not down for that... And while I wouldn't see it as actively "trying" I still would say it kind of is.. I mean, yea. I never really got that myself, when my friends would say they weren't on birth control but weren't trying for a baby. I guess it depends on the way you feel... If you don't care if you get pregnant either way, maybe it's not really a feeling of "trying" for a baby, but if you're disappointed when you get your visit from aunt flow, maybe deep down you are... Just a thought.

As for my mentioning of my invisible window of opportunity... I'm not talking about my age. I know I'm young, and technically should be able to make babies for quite some time. To be honest, it use to confuse and kind of upset me when young women would tell me they wanted to start trying ASAP because something may happen and they won't be able to later on. I didn't get why they would say something so--So, negative sounding. I'm not sure if it's a religious, cultural belief, or a wives tale that's been passed on, I have no idea what it is, and I don't think anyone can until they feel it themselves.

I don't feel like if I don't have a child NOW I may not ever be able to, but I do feel like now is the right time, but my strong impression of that feeling is diminishing and I'm not sure if it's because maybe it's not the time, or because the time is coming and going... This time. --Did all of that jibber jabber make sense? Basically, I know my feelings for wanting a child right now are beyond myself and my own feelings, I know that this time, it's much more than baby hunger or an urge.

Anyway, I'm not really trying to bring it up anymore, we'll come together on it eventually... The last thing I want to do us push him into something he really doesn't want and he resent me/our child for it. I couldn't really see that happening but ya never know! If one of us has to be miserable and depressed I'd rather it be me than him anyway. I may still get my IUD taken out soon though, a compromise we're debating (letting the hormones wear off while using a non-hormonal form of BC). We have a doctor's appointment next month, we'll see how that goes. Oh and I will mention that after dropping the subject, he has already brought up the conversation TWICE today. He says he really wants to have a child right now too but doesn't feel like it would be a responsible thing to do because we're not "financially" able. After just hearing him out I've decided to let it go for now. I still feel the way I do but I feel like he'll come around on his own if we're suppose to.

On a side note...I went to the dentist today and he said I have some work to get done... 13 cavities!! WHATEVER! Ok, no joke.. I think he's trying to rip me off. I went to the dentist 9 months ago and was told I had great teeth, no cavities! Oh, and I've only had 1 cavity in my entire life! Now all of a sudden I have 13? Not buying it! I'm going to get a second opinion... If I can figure out how that works. Either way I've gotta get that done beforehand right?

The Talk Again

Alright, I didn't think I could go back to my scheduled topics without updating my real current problem at hand... Ok, problem may be a little harsh, it feels that way but to be PC I'll call it my dilemma.

You may have remembered "The Talk" from before... Well we have a lot of those lately. They basically all go the same way:
"Baby?"
"Not now"
"Why not?" (tears)
"Cause my school, job... blah blah blah"
(more tears)
"Ok well maybe sooner rather than later"
"When?"
"I dunno"
"In two months?"
"Sure" (under the condition that he gets so far in school and gets a part-time job, which in this economy isn't easy)

We actually had this exact conversation TWICE yesterday and when we got as far as:
"Baby?"
"No"
(TEARS)
He just started laughing at me and asked "Didn't we just have this conversation?"

And it's kind of the same cycle every month right now. I'm kind of just trying to keep my cool, and send our resumes for him in secret.

I did get so ticked that I applied to be an egg donor. 'If I'm not having my kids someone might as well' was my thinking process. And I'd get $7,000. I filled out all the forms but held the stamp after reading that in rare cases something will go wrong, my ovary will swell, nearly burst and possibly need to be removed. I was still in a state of belligerence, and completed the online portion of it anyway, but I decided to hold off on sending the mailed forms. The fact that my husband HATES the idea doesn't help any. It actually makes me want to do it more.

I know I'm not talking typing rationally, but it's ok... I know I'm just a little upset, and when this all blows over I'll come to my senses.

It's just that I can't help but feel like my invisible window of opportunity is closing. I have no way of knowing that it just feels that way. I hope I'm wrong, and that when we both feel right about it we'll actually BE able to produce spawn. Oh we'd better be... Cause Lawd knows if it takes a year or two I will not be a happy wife... No Siree, not after waiting five years.

Then again I kind of blame myself. Why in the world did I get an IUD? I did this on purpose. When I got it at 20 years old I thought 'I won't want to start trying until I'm at least 25' stick it in me! Who knew three years later I'd be plotting away to get it out. I can't help but feel like it would be SO much easier if I didn't have to plan a whole ordeal to get it out. It's a lot easier to stop taking a pack of pills.

Oh... Someone asked me how I got it since I didn't have any kids... I don't think it's a requirement, just a doctor preference, I've had my checked a bunch and it's still in there just fine :)

Anyway, I'm about to go to the dentist, one of my before baby makin' must do's. So while my husband is lollygagging around, and getting his shiz together to feel "ready" to make a baby, I'm one by one, crossing of things on my baby bucket list... And hopefully, sometime this year, we'll meet on the same page.

The Quest

Life is a quest. A never-ending journey to learn priorities and find happiness. This whole blog has been my quest toward motherhood... What also sometimes seems like a never-ending journey. Just when I think I've got a timeline down a wrench is thrown in the plans. I didn't think it would come to this but I'm about to throw my dear husband under the bus.

Yes, I've been one to go back and forth with my own desires for when I want to have kids but he's for the most part been consistent... With a consistent "no" that is. "Not now." "Not yet." When we first got married we said 5 years would be our goal, we're on our fifth year now and it's still not feeling like a reality. Ok.. so we have until December to make up our minds but really... Is a few months going to make THAT much of a difference?!

Nothing makes me more jealous than being at church and seeing all of the happy families. I really didn't know I was capable of such mixed emotions. Nothing makes my mood swing faster than seeing young families at church. They use to just be normal to me, almost seem annoyingly perfect sometimes, but now I just get insanely jealous. Not because they seem "happy" because I think we're as happy as any normal couple-- we have our good days and our bad days--But because the husbands seem so happy, so proud to be a husband, a dad, and seeing them look at their children with those adoring eyes makes me want to cry, and punch my husband. Ok, not really... But kind of. I also get so jealous when my friends tell me how their husbands are begging them for babies... Oh how I would trade them in a second!

I can't help but think "Why can't you be more like that?" I know it's so wrong to ask, and I'd never ask him like that, but I wonder. It makes me think I'm not doing something right, but I don't know what else to do. I am working, enjoying my job, am done with school (for now) I feel ready to grow our family, and it's hard for me to understand why he's not.

We both have our lists of things we'd like to do before we have kids, but his is a little more ambiguous. It's always evolving and changing, and growing. Just when I think we've got a goal of a timeline in place we somehow end right back at square one... As if we'd never talked about having kids before. Trying to pin down a timeline is like trying to hit a moving target... And every so often I just feel like saying "forget it!" and then going and getting my tubes tied out of spite.

Maybe it's because I'm not giving him a chance to achieve his goals... Maybe I'm just being selfish.

I know the thought of being a parent is scary to him... Who is it not scary for? I just don't know what to do to ease him into the idea more. I've tried encouraging, hinting, showing him cute baby pictures, asking him to pray about it, begging and even backing off completely.

I understand nothing in life comes easy, and it takes two to tango, but damn, this is pissing me off!

The Sleep (Or Lack Thereof)

Ok a lot of the crunchy ideas I'm learning about from women on the topic of my last post is REALLY interesting. Some of the things I'd NEVER heard of (eating the placenta? Waaaa!??!) and am not quite sure if it's all up my alley, but I'm getting lots of study and book recommendations on both sides that I'm excited to delve more into. My mom was a WAY SOGGY maybe liquid mom. I had regular disposable diapers, didn't breastfeed, got all sorts of shots, slept separate (I think) didn't get worn, and I don't think I've ever eating anything organic. I turned out ok didn't I?

Most of these options I won't have to worry about myself for awhile... Hey, I'm not knocked up yet. But I think it still makes for interesting conversation. The biggest debate I am most interested in right now is the co-sleeping issue.

My husband and I didn't sleep in the same bed before we were married, and it was pretty evident the first month or so. He'd wake up with bruises all over, once I even gave him a black eye. I would (and still kind of do) move around a lot when I sleep, toss and turn all over, and take him in as victim to my swings. Now we have a California king sized bed and he's pretty safe, when my dog jumps on the bed though, I usually kick him away from my side of the bed. I like the idea of co-sleeping but I worry about two things, one of them being killing my child.

Someone did make a point in saying you wouldn't roll over on your baby just like you wouldn't roll off the bed. That's a good point. I am scared of the edge of the bed... I can't have a finger, a toe hanging off (long story). So perhaps I wouldn't roll over on my child. But even if my child is able to escape my sleeping wrath, what if my husband makes up for it? It seems like it would make breastfeeding easier, but really... I think I'd be scared to accidentally kill my child the first night, I may do a bassinet near the bed or something for awhile.

The other question I had about co sleeping, which an anonymous commenter and Joy brought up. So... When do ya do it? Ya know? The freeky deeky. I know the time for lovin' goes down when you have a kid (at least that's what I hear, I sure hope not) but it seems like it would go WAY down if your kid(s) is in the bed with you! And what if they're older, as in not babies, and sleeping in your bed? Do you kick them out for a little while then bring them back? Or do you have to schedule intimate time during different times of the day?... Or is that just put on hold for awhile?

The answer to this question may answer if I could really do it or not!

The Crunchy Me

I joined a network called "Mormon Mommy Blogs" a few months ago, not long after I started this blog. I was browsing different categories when I noticed one called "Crunchy moms." I had no idea what that meant but I just kept going on my way.

I fell in love with a blog by my Alaskan blog friend Mommy Bee, "Musings of Mommy Bee." After reading a lot of her posts I noticed a unique trend... She uses cloth diapers, makes cloth pads, co-sleeps with her kids. I thought it was some Alaskan thing or something but it all clicked when I saw her blog in the "crunchy mom" list and asked her what it meant.

This is the explanation she left me in a comment once:

"Are you familiar with the term 'granola mom' when referring to someone who follows a more natural/hippie lifestyle? Well, granola is crunchy... I think a lot of us disliked the moniker 'granola' because, truthfully, granola isn't that good for you (I know, shocking, huh?!), so we chose our own term I guess...
Anyway, I consider myself a crunchy mama because I birth without medication, militantly breastfeed, co-sleep, babywear, cloth diaper, recycle, grow a garden, wear my hair long, almost never wear make-up, use standard medicine sparingly, don't spank, don't circumcise, do try to eat healthy/organic/traditional foods, and very possibly will homeschool at least some of my kids or some of the time.
There are a lot of versions of crunchy...but that's mine. I never take the status quo for granted, and do my own research on pretty much everything. "

I'm always so intrigued when I see a new post on her blog about "home/ unassisted birth" or "breastfeeding" or "immunizations" (or lack there of) stuff like that, cause it's all stuff I'm curious about and looking into now. So now I'm asking myself "Could I be crunchy?"

At first I thought "no way, that's not me," but now I'm thinking I want to learn more. I like the idea of crunchy because to me it seems empowering as a woman (especially when it comes to labor)... I also like the idea of saving money on some things. Mommy Bee left a comment on my blog the other day responding to another commenter saying babies are expensive. She brought up some good points I never even though about... Cloth diapers, homemade baby food, breastfeeding over formula, co-sleeping, less toys (heaven forbid!) or cribs of Craigslist.

I brought the topic up to my husband, told him some of the examples of being crunchy and he liked some of them. We're both not too keen on the idea of cloth diapers right now, but just for kicks I looked on Craigslist and found stuff like this for sale for dirt cheap! Nice stuff!

Ok, I'm not sure if buying stuff off Craigslist is considered a "crunchy" attribute, but the idea came from a crunchy mom so for now I'll say "yea." It seems like crunchyness can save some money, and I'm all about that!

Anyway, I'm also interested in things like co-sleep (although I'm afraid I'll roll over and kill my baby), breastfeeding, homemade baby food, growing a garden, figuring out what the heck stuff is organic and maybe trying to use that stuff.

I'm a big researcher myself, so I'm thinking the more I look into stuff the more I may develop some crunchy ways.

I actually like the idea of homebirth... However, not if I can't take an epidural. I know I don't like pain and that is one of the biggest things scaring me out of having a kid right now. I do like the idea of having a nice birth in a cozy bed or something... But what if something goes wrong? Oh jeez... I'm not sure how crunchy I'll really be when it comes down to it, but so far, I'm thinking some of it sounds pretty cool. Perhaps I'll be a chewy mom... Not quite crunchy, but not soggy, somewhere in the middle.

Any crunchy moms our there? Soggy moms? Chewy moms? What do you like and not like? Oh and everyone, look out for Mommy Bee, I'm sure she'll be leaving a nice informative comment! Or just check out her blog to see more of that I'm seeing.

Over the next little while I'm going to be tacking topics on crunchy, so we don't have to delve into all of them now, but if there's some others I'm leaving off the list as of now let me know.

The Party is in THIS Hizzouse

Hello! Those of you visiting my blog for the first time, thanks to 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog party ... My name is Jenn, aka Future Mama in this thing I like to call "bloggy land." I started this blog at the end of November last year. Although the title my blog "Baby Makin(g) Machine" may immediately make you think of the Octo-Mom, I'm not even close... I actually don't have ANY kids yet (well, not human ones, I have a 15-month old sharpei mix that's giving me good practice with poop and the likes). So I like to think of myself as a "Baby Making Machine" that hasn't been switched ON yet.

I'm a married woman. I've been married 4.25 years (Boo ya!) and I'm in my early-mid 20s playing with the idea of becoming a mother. Just when I think I'm ready I get cold feet and think of a few more things to tack on to my "baby bucket list."

Lately I'm thinking I am REALLY maybe almost possibly ready to take the parenting plunge for real this time. So I'm trying to get myself physically, mentally, and emotionally committed to the cause (oh and my husband too).

I know many of you visiting are either mothers or future mothers who may have asked yourselves some of the questions I'm asking right now: What should I do now that I may not get to do later? How should I choose a doctor? What medical things should I take care of before I try to get pregnant? What career adjustments should I expect to plan or make to help with the transition into motherhood? Is SAHM a job for me? WAHM? Or should I be a Suga Mama? Will I breastfeed... Wait, what it hurts?!!? WTF is Letdown? Should I have a home birth? Get the epidural? Or try to go for an orgasmic labor? Could Crunchy become my middle name?

You've seen mom blogs, and pregnancy blogs, but this is something a little different... Focusing on that stuff, but before that all happens... A Pre-Pregnancy blog, if you may. I'm forming opinions and ideas of what I hope and THINK I'll do when I get pregnant, or when I become a mother, but it'll be fun to see what I actually end up doing.

Some call my thinking premature, but I call it smart. I know you can never be really READY to change your life forever and become a mother, but I want to get as close as possible. I'm hoping women like you can share your secrets (really, tell me everything, even the nasty stuff they don't tell you beforehand), help me think of other questions, and find the answers as you follow me on my journey toward motherhood.

Oh but watch out... I ask difficult questions and post crazy findings, I don't hold back, I'm only just beginning and I'm loving every second of it!

So look around! A good place to start would be my by visiting my "popular post" section, oh and answer my poll to the right! You can also find me on Twitter: @babymakinmachin

I also have been getting a few giveaway sponsors lately. I have two contests going on right now here and here, and I'm probably going to post my third, and biggest one so far (valued around $100) sometime next week. So stay awhile, or if you're busy visiting other blogs in this awesome blog block party (I know I am), be sure to come again!

This post was brought to you because it was inspired by:


I'm trying to win some prizes like:
1. #58 – Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer, from Moms Who Think
2. #INTL 19 — $130 Sponsor spot on Tip Junkie, from Tip Junkie
3. #37 — Omron HJ-112 Digital Premium Pedometer, from Fat Loss Chronicles
I also would LOVE any of the rest of them, especially #s: USC 24, 27 (got a friend who needs this!), 15, 2, 50, 8, 19 (love Target), 21, 22, 26, USC47, USC48, and USC49 or basically anything babyish or jewelryish! Haha, it's hard to choose!

The Vitamins

A lot of you have been saying vitamins are a good idea to find beforehand. I have a friend who told me she took a prenatal pill every day at the same time she took her birth control. I thought that was one of the strangest things I had ever heard. Why in the world would she DO that? Wouldn't one cancel out the other? Well now that I've been thinking more seriously about turning the BMM on, I thought I'd look up a good time to start taking those things.

Naturally, I thought it's a good idea to do it at the same time I get rid of the birth control, but I came across an article that said it's actually a good idea to start taking some things 2-3 months before you start doing the deed for real. So now I'm looking into what kinds of pills/supplement stuff I may want to get when it comes to being that close in time.

It looks like folic acid, and iron are two things that are a big deal to have. It would be nice to find an all-in-one multivitamin that I could take and not really have to worry about what I'm getting and not getting. I know too many multivitamins can be too much so I'd like to just take one. Hopefully this will be another good habit I can form before it's baby makin' time. Right now I have a hard time taking the calcium pills I need (I don't drink milk)!

I went out the other day just to see what was out there and I found these, 100 tablets for $4. You only have to take 1 a day. It has calcium, folic acid, iron, all that good stuff and more. Hubby was shopping with me and I was a little reluctant to put them in the basket. I tried to be discreet but he caught on.

"Are you trying to hide that or something?" he asked.
"No... But the name on the bottle might freak you out a little."

I guess that was his cue to check it out. I waited for the freak out... It didn't come. He only asked if it would cancel out my birth control... "No"... Eer, I hope not. Just in case I don't think I'll take them for a while.

I'm hoping I can find a different multivitamin that's like pre-prenatal, but I'm not sure they make those.

I'm a little paranoid about the side-effects. I hear some people get insomnia, have a hard time getting them down, get nauseas... I don't need people thinking I'm pregnant yet.

Do you ladies have any recommendations for specific supplements you like? Any particular brand or kind you may want one day? I read it's good for hair, nails, and just all around health.

The Countdown Pt1

As I continue my countdown towards turning the baby making machine 'ON' I've decided to up my "to do" list. Yea, some of the stuff on my bucket list I can do while pregnant or when the spawn is born, but I really want to get on as much as I can now. I feel like I'm probably able to cross a few more things off. I think I'm pretty dang good with God right now, although I really would like to have a full-month's worth (habit forming) of nightly diligent scripture reading to feel 100% accomplished.... I'm getting there.

The food storage is coming along. I have no idea how much 3 months worth is, but I have a lot of "just add water" MREs and other crap we can use... If I get a humongous tank of water stored somewhere I'll probably feel pretty fulfilled in that category (you know where I can get that/store that?)

I'm on and off with cooking but hubby is helping more with that lately. I joined a freezer meal group which is helping with that. I have the food in the freezer... Haven't actually cooked the meals yet. But hey... At least they keep!

Still not forming any sort of habit of walking/running. Hubs has been taking Snoop for daily walks so it's left me with no desire to do more, although this week I've already taken him twice. I plan on beginning my real tackle on that next week month. I read it's a good idea to have a regular exercise routein BEFORE getting knocked up, that way you can keep it up while pregnant.

If you read this post, you know I'm not eating that much better yet. My trip to New York is seeming unlikely, the dance class... Even more so. *sigh* I suck.

If that wasn't enough, I found another great article with things I want to do starting NOW to prepare.

Here's a few things the article says are good to check out 6 months to a year before turning your Baby Making Machin' "On"
1. Check-ups. Gotta head to the doctor, just to make sure we're as healthy as we feel (most of the time). We have insurance but haven't been to the doctor in AGES. Might as well take advantage of that free annual checkup! I also need to figure out if I'm healthy, in shape enough, how my blood pressure is, and just ask questions regarding pre-knocked up procedures. I've been researching a family doctor, I think I've found one I may like.
2. SPREAD 'EM! Ladies, you know what I mean! I just had my yearly trip to my crotch doc. And all was swell then! I think I can check this off my list now ;op
3. Talk it out. I'll talk things through with docs... Do I have the tumor I think I have? Am I on the verge of a stroke? Heart attack? Sometimes I don't know... Sometimes I feel like I have an ulcer, a punctured uterus... (remember I'm a hypochondriac) the docs will help me know what's real and what's not, and hopefully give a thumbs up. Also, it'll be a good idea to figure out what I should and shouldn't do relating to work, fires, pig crap, molded homes, 80 pound equipment, dead bodies... I have a crazy job people!
4. Stick me! I've had the chickenpox already... What other things do I need to make sure I'm immune to? Rubella? Do I really need to check for that?
5. Checking my family tree. What kind of genetic problems run in my family, anything I should be aware of? I don't think Cystic fibrosis and sickle cell anemia run in my family but if they do I should be aware, maybe get tested. This can be tricky cause I mean... I've gotta be sneaky. It's a little obvious to ask "so mom, what kind of birth defects run in our family?"
6. Go to the dentist! I haven't been in about 10 months and if I need any major work and main medicine I want to get it all done BEFOREHAND. I set up appointments for both of us for next week!

Hmm, this list seems to be kind of long. Anything else I may be missing? Something you with you had thought of a year or so before turning your baby makin' machine on? Or am I just over thinking this? Better safe than sorry right?

The Thank-you!: Another Giveaway!

I'm not sure if it was my wits, my crazy questions, or my recent unintentionally "controversial" string of posts, but whatever it was... It got me to 100 followers! I thought this day would never come. It was just two moths ago that I was begging a couple of close friends to click the button to the right of the screen to show I had some sort of "fan base." It gave me courage to post. But the more I wrote the more it became about me truly wanting advice and help, and less about who was reading. Now I have a group of wonderful people who offer tips and words of encouragement on a daily basis (and I swear that comment tracker is playing with my mind, I know some of you have said way more that those records show).

Anyway, I'm excited for this prize because it's something not just for mommies or moms with girls/boys. It's a beautiful diaper wipe case from LucaBellaDesigns! How original right? I haven't seen anything like this myself. It's soft, discreet, and most of all, adorable! I actually really wanted to keep this for myself because it would work if I have a boy or girl, and heck... I can use it now and keep Clorox wipes in there... Or just to clean up after my own messy self. But I thought in honor of my 100 followers, I'd give it away! The picture doesn't really do it justice. (Oh and there's wipes in it already too just so you know...I mean I'm sure now you want it even more).
So, dear followers, all you have to do to enter is: Leave a comment either with some motherhood advice, or a topic you'd be interested in me writing about or a question you'd like to ask me.

That pretty much leaves it wide open! If you're not a follower you can still enter ;o) But Followers get 2 entries (make sure you let me know in the comments section if you follow).

If you so desire you can Tweet about this contest and let @babymakinmachin know for an extra entry. If you do something else to get the word out about the contest just let me know in a comment and it'll count as an extra entry.

While you're at it, say what's up to Rachel at Little Bites of Heaven. She has 4 adorable kids, 3 of them are triplets! She (and her little girl Ella) made this giveaway possible!

I'll use random.org to select the winner on Tuesday March 31st.

Good luck!

Thank you to Sweeties Sweeps for listing my blog giveaway.

The WAHM

I don't know many personally, but I feel like for me, this would be my ideal "mom situation"--If I could find a way to still do what I do professionally, but be at home for my children.

I'm not saying it would be easy, (let's not go down that road again) I'm sure it isn't, and I'm guessing the road to get there is going to be difficult as well. Especially being that I only have one talent... Writing. Well, if talking people's ear off is a talent then I'd say that's a trait I have too. Oh and listening... I think I'm a good listener, (but I'll let my husband be the judge).

For the past 5 or so years I've always done something relating to journalism, or writing. I've written for newspapers, local magazines, reported for several TV and radio stations, I love what I do. I've never really liked one particular area of journalism over another, I like it all. With TV, most of the time it's fast paced and exciting, but a lot of times you don't get to shape your story as much as you can with print, or even radio. All of them have deadlines... Which I love, but some are more flexible... Or longer than others.

Sometimes I love being on TV, sometimes I absolutely hate it. I love with print I can say so much more, but I love the intimacy of seeing the people in a TV story and hearing that characters voice.

The biggest plus I see with print is the fact that you can do it from home. You can call a source on the phone and get the interview you need. It's a big advantage, especially for someone who would want to work from home. If I keep doing what I do now I'd basically have to choose between working while being a mom, or putting the broadcast career on hold.

I'm no where near ready to retire from my love of broadcast news, but I'm craving more writing opportunities and the chance to work at my own pace, my own length. I have no idea how I'll do it, but I would hope that one day I could write from home, do stories for papers or magazines, and make my own schedule. Man, how that would be nice. It's not something that happens overnight, it would take a long time to build up and do what I need to do to make as much from home as I do at work full time... Not to mention the benefits I get from working for a corporation. But it's something I hope I can work toward, especially so I don't feel like I'm missing family milestones and special moments. It's a special desire I hope I can one day achieve.

Are you trying to be at home one way or another, or are you at home already? How do you do it? And how did you get there?

PS: To read more about what's turned into a "Mother Situation Series" click here.

The Working Mom

My mom was a working mom, so was my husband's mom. That's just normal to us. Most likely this will be me. I think there are ups and downs with the duty of motherhood tied in with another full-time job. Like I said here, I'm hoping my husband can help with some of the homemaking, kid raising duties (at least at first), but we'll see what happens.

My mom was a working mom, not because she wanted to be, but because she had to be. She found cheap childcare until I was old enough to watch my siblings after school and during the summer time and we were at home alone. For a little while my mom worked an overnight shift, so she would be home most of the day while we were, but a lot of the time she'd be sleeping so my sister and I entertained ourselves.

I know being a working mom was challenging for her not only because she hated being away from us, but because we were hard work! Luckily, (although we weren't perfect kids by any means), my sister who is four years younger than I, and myself were pretty good at keeping to ourselves.

Our sister Lauren was next, she is 11 years younger than I. Then my brother, Michael was adopted and closed the age gap between the youngest two.

Being the oldest, I did a lot of help around the house. I changed countless diapers and really learned how to take care of us all. When my parents weren't home (which was a lot) I was in charge, and responsible for any damage that was done. A lot of times I was in charge of helping people with homework, and making a quick dinner. For a time, I was in charge of making sure my siblings got to their activities and practices, then got home and ready for bed.

Growing up with no parents staying home had it's up and down sides. The up side is I learned how to do practical things that still help me today. I learned responsibility, and I grew up REAL fast. On the down side, I wasn't use to many home cooked meals, to this day, I still have a hard time making a meal from a cook book--And I didn't get much help with homework. It broke my mother's heart when she couldn't make it to my talent shows or cheerleading games, but you know what... She still made it to most things. She came to my pageants, helped me get ready for prom. She was working but I remember her being there when it mattered most.

My mom was working then, and she's STILL doing it! The next child came 9 years after Lauren--My youngest sister is 3. I'm the oldest of five children, and my mother has pretty much been at work the whole time. Quite a bit of the time she was doing it by herself too. My dad was on the road as a truck driver and she had to work as well as take care of us. They separated about five years ago, and divorced a couple of years ago. Now my mother has a 14, 12, and 3 year old at home she's taking care of alone, AND working MORE than 40 hours a week to support them.

On a slight side note, I'm not writing this to dog on my dad. My dad has (especially recently) been there for me more than anyone in my family. We've had our rough patches in life but I know he's there for me. My mom though, does not have an easy job.

If I am a working mother I think I'll face different challenges. It'll be hard for me to feel like I'm missing things. I hate being left out, and the thought of missing the first smile, first laugh, first steps, makes my heart sink already.

I'd like that my sons and daughters would grow up seeing their mother as a professional career woman. Someone putting my degree and skills to good use. They could witness first hand that hard work can pay off with a successful career... But I don't want them to think I wasn't there when they needed me.

I think I put extra pressure on myself to be a career woman because of my background. Being a black, LDS woman makes me want to work five times as hard as an average person because I feel like I want to do things people said I couldn't do.

Growing up people would assume I got into BYU because I was black... No, I was accepted because I had a 3.7 GPA, I was class president, and graduated high school a year before the rest of my class. I hate it when people assume I am where I am because of the way I look. I am where I am because I've worked my 'A' off.

Giving up what I've worked my whole life for, career wise, would be a challenge for me. It's not something I'm unwilling to do, I just think... I've gotten this far so it would be hard to stop now.

Lucky for me I have a great, very supportive husband who already does most... Ok pretty much all of the housework (I'm actually writing this while he's doing a deep clean in the kitchen). Hopefully we'll be able to find a balance that works for our family. And I pray that I will never have to raise our future children alone.

Being a mom... PERIOD is difficult. I don't have to be a mom to know that. I don't know that from experience but I can tell from the passion of my readers, and by looking at my own mom. I don't think it matters what kind of mom you are SAHM, WAHM, WM, or just MOM... If I have the opportunity to be at home with my future children I hope I will see it as a blessing...It's a blessing my mother dreamed of but has yet to have. I think being a working mom must also be very difficult, especially if you don't have a husband at home taking care of the children, or just someone to help share the duties... But after witnessing what my mother does, for ME...being a working single mom would be the most difficult job in the world.

PS: To read more of what's turned into a "SAHM Series" click here. Tomorrow I'm writing about my dream job (today)... "The WAHM"

The SAHM Pt. 3

Ok wow, never have I posted three post in one day nor have I gotten such a stir from one topic! Obviously I've struck a chord here. First off I want to say I appreciate ALL of your comments. Not one of them offends me... Ok just that one I mentioned in the last post, but the rest of them, I honestly appreciate. You either are on the same page as me, and pose the same questions I do, or you have opened my eyes to a different point of view that I never thought of.

I really hope I don't come across cocky or "know it all" I try to be upfront and say that I either have no idea what I'm talking about, or I'm guessing and just asking your advice and questions on what YOU think is hard about the job. I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject but I imagine it must be a battle many SAHMs face (defending their job against people who say their job ISN'T cushy like some of us may think).

I hope you realize that I am really excited to eat my words. If having a kid and spending 3 months at home full time with them will make me HAPPY to go back to work full-time then bring it on! Haha.

But I do want to highlight a few comments that REALLY sum up how I feel and what I've learned.

How I feel: Summed up my Mrs. Smith:

"Being at home is easier than having a full time job AND being a mother. Hello! It's two things. I am NOT saying being a SAHM is not hard, it is. But can't something be a little-bit harder?"

Comments that really made the light go off for me:
Mrs. Foote:

"But you know what IS hard? Teaching kids. It's emotionally draining and requires a ton of patience. This can really push people to the brink, especially the perfectionists. They don't want to see their own flesh and blood fail. Each child you add to your family brings their own challenges and strengths. The joy in motherhood comes from watching your children overcome their challenges and maximize their potential. The heartache comes when they cannot overcome their challenges."

And Mrs. Pearson:

"Why do you think more moms are on antidepressants than any other 'profession'? It isn't just post partum that takes it out of you. You deal with kids that drive you crazy everyday, and you love them more than anything, but they never say thank you, and they don't listen, and when they do listen, it is always when you are doing something you don't want them to ever do. It's emotionally, mentally, and physically draining."

Ok Jenna and Kayce, can I just say that THOSE explanations really hit home. I often feel under appreciated at my job, but the people I work with aren't my own flesh and blood (thank goodness!) So all in all I hope you realize I wasn't trying to say the job IS NOT hard, I was just honestly asking what was so hard about it... Not trying to downplay it (although I did add a little sarcastic humor which obviously offended some, sorry). I really just.. As an outsider looking in, wanted to know.

Now, reading these responses I have more of an idea of what makes being a stay at home mom one of the hardest jobs in the world.

The SAHM Pt. 2

Ok I'm changing the beginning of this post because of the last sudden ANONYMOUS comment I got on my last post. I don't like to respond in the comments section because I'm not sure everyone would be able to see it so I'll respond at the top of this post. The following was the anonymous comment (they left another one after but I'm just posting the first one):

"Honestly. I want to give you credit for having the nerve to even post something so ludicrous.
You don't BUY it? Give me a break.
A whole blog to decide if you want a baby or not? You know you aren't going to do it right now. So, just stop talking about it every day before you do decide to do it. Come talk to us when your pregnant and then when you're a working or WAHM or SAHM.
Until then, your opinion of being a SAHM doesn't matter."

Ok first off... Ouch. Really? You're going to come and tell me my opinion doesn't matter on my OWN blog? And who is "us?" Well thanks... But apparently not many others agree with you. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to plan before hand and actually asking mothers experiencing things I may one day experience how they handle it. I'm completely honest here and I'm sorry if that offends you but in my post I point blank said I welcomed disagreements because "I'M OPEN TO BEING WRONG" so sheesh... don't get offended lady! Obviously you have a little insecurity or something because I'm not saying I know everything, I'm just stating my opinion. Take a chill pill! I also didn't just say I didn't "buy it" I asked what was so hard about it... And if you noticed, several women actually answered the question on "what is the hardest part about it" rather than just bashing me. Plus, you said you agreed with Jacyee... Well guess what? She has 6 KIDS! Four of them are quadruplets... I'm not saying that's not a dang hard job! And I can understand her for being a little ticked about my post ;o)

Oh... and several people in the comments section said they love being stay at home moms and it's not as stressful as some people make it out to be... I really think it comes down to the person... And YES... maybe one day when I have kids my mind will change completely and I'll do a 180 and think "wow... this is a lot harder than I thought, put be back to work" but that's the fun of this blog... it's a "journey" my journal of expression, and if you've read any other posts you'd realize that I change my mind often :o)

Ok... sorry do go off on a tangent people, I just wanted to get that out of the way. Has anyone else dealt with meanies? I see why people moderate their comments now. I never thought I'd want to erase a comment but yeesh! Anyway... Back to the show:

You all have been great in my quest to determine why being a SAHM is so difficult, by leaving responses here. I've baby sat for a woman a few times who is a stay at home mother. She always seems slightly stressed or uptight when I go over to her house. Seeing the way she interacted with her children was always endearing and interesting to me, but seeing what she puts herself through just made me think "I couldn't do it." At least not like that.

I think some of the same women who said things like "if my husband would watch the kids instead of watching TV yea, maybe he could be a stay at home dad" are some of the ones who also maybe, possibly, put too much pressure on themselves at home (but who am I to assume?).

I have however witnessed so many women (especially while I lived in Utah) who felt like their house had to be put together neatly at all times. The kids had to be cleaned up after almost immediately, the rules and regulations in the home were strict, and so were the schedules. It made me want to just grab them by the shoulders and say "it's going to be O.K. calm down!" I imagine if I'm going to do it my husband will have to clean up the mess we all make when he gets home from work... (Hey, whatever keeps me from taking Xanex, ok?) But really, I'm not a neat person anyway, so maybe that's why I feel that way. I can't imagine being my messy self then having a messy bunch of spawn on top of that!

By all means, if cleaning and cooking is what makes you happy go for it, but if being at home with MY children turns out to be extremely stressful, perhaps some rearranging should be done.

My grandmother is in her 50s and she looks AMAZING! I asked her how she hardly has wrinkles and she told me: "I don't stress." And she gave me some advice I don't think I'll ever forget... "If you have a problem you don't like, fix it, and if you can't fix it, get over it. Because stressing is only going to give you wrinkles."

There really are so many women out in the world who would LOVE to be at home with their children but can't afford to. Regardless if it's the world's hardest job or not... If it's a job you got to choose then it's a privilege. It may not pay monetarily but if the rumors are true, you're rewarded in much better ways.

If I ever have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom I hope I can remember this lighthearted advice I'm giving right now... And can really embrace it and make the most of it. I imagine it would be easy to get bored (with one) and go crazy (with several) but I hope that I can keep the cheerful spirit I have now and enjoy that time with my kids (and not eat my words).

I hopefully will at least get three months at home with the first and get a taste of SAHM life... Then I'LL be the one to judge if it's REALLY all that hard ;o) especially compared to a job like I have now, or worse... A job like I have now PLUS being a mom 24/7.

But regardless, I'm sure it's all not peaches and creme, I know it's 24/7, and really... I'm not trying to downplay it. Just trying to get a feel for what it's really like for you, in all honesty.