As I narrowed down baby names for my daughter before she was born, of course I was greeted with suggestions, ideas, and questions about what we liked.
I was caught off guard when someone asked if I'd name her Shaniqua.
Yes, because my name is Jennifer and Shaniqua is the first name that came to my mind.
This wasn't the only time people have brought names like this to my attention. Why they think it's fitting I'm not quite sure.
It's also strange to me when people say I "don't look like a Jennifer." What that's suppose to mean, I'm not sure.
Think I'm kidding? Think they're kidding? Yea, that's what I thought too when one of my former bosses suggested I change my name to something more "ethnic."
A lot of people are intrigued by my job. People ask if I wear shorts under the news desk (thanks Anchor Man), if I have makeup artists, if I use my real name, the list goes on.
No, I don't wear shorts, (but sometimes I'll wear jeans), I do my own makeup, and I use my own name. But at my first news job, in a small town in Southern Utah, that almost changed.
After my first day the general manager brought into our tiny little office and sat me down. The main anchor, one of my mentors was with him.
"What do you think of changing your name to Keisha?" He asked me.
I laughed. Then looked around the room, realizing I was the only one laughing. My friend did give a sympathetic shrug, which made me think she thought it was about as strange as I did but couldn't tell me right then and there.
"Are you serious?" I asked. Totally stunned.
He was.
He went on and gave me some explanation about my last name sounding French-Creole and that having "Keisha" as a first name "fit."
"Think about it," he told me.
I said I would but there was no thinking about it. I was not changing my name. Especially not to Keisha.
I did call my family, then my friends and laughed about it with anyone who would listen. To this day I still have to chuckle a little when I think back to that moment because I honestly don't know what was going through his mind.
My name is Jennifer. My siblings: Heather, Michael, Lauren, Kimberly. None of them are stereotypical names you'd hear on the Top 60 Ghetto Black Names list. They are, however, found in the most popular names of the year list. I didn't want my daughter's name on either. My mother's reasoning for her decision was different than mine. She would say "do you want to get a job?" Which sounds harsh but some research shows "black-sounding" names on resumes don't do as well next to the same resume holding a "white-sounding" names.
Deciding what to name your children is a beautiful thing. The coolest thing is that it's your choice. Some are more unusual, and others are more common, but no one should be pigeon holed into a name because of how they look.
And for your entertainment...I guess. The "Top 60 Ghetto Black Names."
Sigh. There is a top 60 list. LOL. I cannot but can believe that. I don't want to click on it out of fear that my name is there.
ReplyDeleteWhen I named my daughter it was a mix of sentiment but also I chose race and sex neutrality. I was quite calculated. I am not sure if my name hindered me but I wanted open options.
Oh, now I have to see the list! I think picking a name for your child is super important. We personally prayerfully decide together on our children's names. We prefer to use a family name and an uncommon name. I was the only kid in the whole school system with my name. It was mispronounced so often, but I loved being so different. A friend loved my name so much she named her daughter after me- DaKira. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteYou look more like a Jennifer than a Keisha! My oldest is actually named after a black woman- Carlise. I think names should have meaning behind them and not just "I like the way it sounds."
I can't believe there is a list haha! I hate when people think that a certain name is automatically for a certain race only. It's ridiculous and makes me wonder if we are still stuck in the 1920's.
ReplyDeleteMy son is biracial and I never once thought about naming him something that would fit a certain race. I named him what I did because I liked the name.
I totally agree with you 100%.
i can totally relate.
ReplyDeletewe have had our next child's name picked out for the last two years. emeline or moseby. emeline after a dear family friend (who just happened to be aa) and moseby..well, 'cause we liked it.
after we couldn't get pregnant we decided to adopt and the agency we chose mainly places mixed or aa children. well, no one said anything about our choice of names before (when we were trying to get pregnant/it would have been a white baby), but now it seems like just about everybody comments on 'moseby' and asked if we picked it because they say it sounds more aa b/c it sounds like a "black jazz musician's name". huh?!
craziness.
i don't care if our son (or daughter) is pale and red-headed like me or brown skinned and dark-headed--their name will be moseby.
:-)
As a person of French-Croele decent I can attest to you that "Keisa" is not a French-Creole name. If he had wanted to be authentic he should of suggested something like Cecily.
ReplyDeleteI would of been so pissed. But you are way nice than me, so I'm sure you handled it with grace :)
I get so frustrated with people who chose to name their children THOSE names and then turn around and expect that it wouldn't impact their child's life. Should it? Nope. Does it? Yep.
I am so grateful my name is Katherine. I was partly named after my great-great Aunt (who was black!)
I kind of have a funny story about my name. When I was 7 years old, I started playing basketball in a girl/boy league. I had just moved and so I didn't try out and none of the coaches saw me, they just had to pick out names. When I showed up to the first practice, I noticed that my entire team was black (including the coach) AFTER I walked up to the coach and told him my name. He looked at me and said, "Are you sure? You're not who I was expecting".
ReplyDeleteI had no idea at the time why he said that so I asked my mom when I got home and she told me that he thought I was black just because of my name. That didn't make any sense to me and still doesn't even though I have heard that my whole life.
I don't know why people stereotype names at all- that has always bugged me. You should just name your children whatever you like. But I love my name and am glad they named a Disney princess after me :)
WOW.
ReplyDeleteThat is some racist sh*t right there. I cannot believe your boss said that to you? Crazy.
I'm not a fan of names that tell ethnicity.
I am however, a fan of the ghetto name youtube clip LOL!!!!
As I am choosing my soon to be baby's name, I never thought about race, but more about the meaning of the name. A name becomes popular for what that person does and not because it is the race she or he belongs to.
ReplyDeleteThe video shouldn't be taken seriously, because who calls her child Fri'Chickenisha? LOL, they are just two silly boys making up names and calling it ghetto black names.
@Tiana, it happens to me to when people read my name somewhere (without the surname) they expect to see someone else and when they see that i am black they are surprise.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE my name for it meaning.
I love names that have meaning! I HATE when other black people name their children something crazy like Fri'Chickenisha and say it's African or something. Umm...no. I'm 100% Nigerian and the names they choose all have meaning and do not sound like that. Yes, they are weird but never made up. I named my own children short and simple names just so they could avoid what I went through as a child. I had to always pronounce my first and last name at least 10 times before someone could remember it for that day.
ReplyDeleteWhy must everything be black or white? Just because you have a normal name then it is a white name. Gosh...
I struggled with this name debate a lot when naming my son. I didn't want his name to lean more towards one race than another. Then I realized that the 'race related name' is silly. I think people (myself included) often confuse the fact the names have a cultural orgin with being race related. However the anchor who wanted to change your name to Keisha was out of line- I'm glad you were able to laugh it off because I would have been very offended. Perhaps I could learn something from that.
ReplyDeleteFrom Mrs. to Mom
I can't get past what your boss asked you to change your name to. That question may have brought the "Keisha" out of me in that board room, so to speak. I don't know how you kept your cool, lol.
ReplyDeleteI am constantly amazed at the pure ignorance some people possess. You would think with all the important society puts on equality, we wouldn't have these problems. But unfortunately, it's all totally bassackwards.
ReplyDeleteI work in TV as well so that conversation doesn't surprise me at all.
ReplyDeleteOh my!!!! Where the heck are those two kids parents!?! Seriously. And I am stunned that you were asked to use another name....wow!!! Absurd.
ReplyDeleteSuggested that you change your name to Keisha! That is so outrageous and offensive. What were they getting at? And Creole? What the heck? Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI can relate & I laughed reading this post because it's so true! Remember it also can go the same way with last names LOL. A close group of friends along with their kids call me Tay Tay short for Tatum :) Then if you heard my maiden name one would make assumptions LOL..
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate. In school people were always shocked to find out I was Black when the teacher would do the role call. I think it's just crazy that people associate names with color. I'm glad that more parents are taking chances and going out the box in terms of naming their kids.
ReplyDeleteI guess Jennifer is just too common. ;) I don't know why he couldn't see how that would come off racially insensitive. You can't tell someone that their name sounds too "black" so they need to change it to be "white," so it's not okay the other way either. The things bosses say behind doors...one of mine told me I need to "blacken up."
ReplyDeleteI'm a teacher and I swear I've seen it all with the names. Every year I get a new list of "what were you thinking!" I sometimes wonder if parents just don't know how to spell. We take a LONG time coming up with a name (it's hard when you try not to use a student name or something weird and crazy). I could go on and on about the names I've seen. In my opinion, a name should never spell out a curse word!
I cannot believe that Keisha story! That is ridic! Anyway, DH had a similar train of thought as your mom when naming our daughter Virginia (we're named Quiana and Uka). We gave her the nickname "Nia" which we refer to her as regularly. We wanted to make sure she had a classic and a hip option to choose from when she decides on her career path.
ReplyDeleteThis video is certainly racist. I saw these guys on Tyra's show and they are just kids making fun of black female names and creating their own as they go along. Barack Hussein Obama is a living testament that one can go on to live full and successful lives regardless of what his or her name is. Of course certain names may hold people back but I don't think that people should stray away from names they love in fear that the children will not be successful because of it. Oprah's name is a standard American name. Neither is Prince. I think a child's name should be chosen from the heart. I love ethnic names. There are many Japanese and Muslim names that I will look at because of their meaning. I teach in a school and there are so many Amanda's and Amber's having a unique name can also work to a person's benefit. My name is Haitian Creole Claude Monique and I've had people tell me they contacted me or chose me because of my name. It peaks interests to draw outside the lines.
ReplyDeleteYou are right that people of all races have opinions on names. My nephew and his wife were supposed to adopt twin aa girls. The adoption fell through 2 days after the girls were born and one of the reasons birth Dad gave was that he didn't want the girls to have the 'white' sounding names they had picked out.
ReplyDeleteI love your daughter's name. In February my brother and his wife were thinking of baby names and I let one from my "list" slip and they just so happened to choose it...Journiee. Cutest name!
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