I too remember that time in my life with little ones...especially newborns! Then when you do finally go for it...you spray him with milk at that sweet moment! You have to laugh and wonder why God made sex and your milk let-down connected. Well, afterall, it IS called the "love hormone!" :0)
Hang in there Jenn. There will be a day when you don't crawl into bed feeling like you're already touched out!
hahaha - I hear you. The best is when baby starts crying while at it... whatever mojo you have at the time will be gone in a snap and you will probably run to baby leaving hubby behind! LOL Babysitter is a great idea! :)
@BMM it will come back.. one day. Randomly. You will be in the kitchen and he will stretch across to grab some milk for his cereal and then BAM! Dont hurt him.
Aww! This is too funny because I remember feeling like this a lot right after my son was born. Wait...sometimes I still feel like this. Maybe you need to do a follow-up post to provide any advice that you may receive! ;)
I remember thinking this wouldnt be an issue since i had a c-section (and thought tearing would be the only thing I had to really worry about anyways...boy was I wrong!), and I would recommend the following, take it or leave it :) 1. Keep open communication with the hubby. Let him know how you feel and that it may take awhile before you are back at it with the same gusto. and let him know that the more compliments he gives you (and the more he helps out around the house/with baby) the better/more inclined you will feel towards getting down and dirty. 2. Wear something sexy. I chose a cute tank top that covered my still bulging belly and it made me feel soo much better. 3. Keep the bra on. I wore one that was slightly smaller to show off cleavage, but (As I warned my Mr.) milk leakage is too common a problem..save yourself the embarassment and keep it on! 4. Pump right before. You'll feel much better if youre not engorged/soaking a nursing pad. 5. lubricate, lubricate, lubricate. i cannot stress that enough. 6. keep your mind busy thinking about how it felt before the baby... (remembering it will only get better with practice) and whatever you do, don't think about the baby! (we waited till ours had been sleeping a few hours and was officially down for the night). nothing kills libido like a screaming baby!
and finally 7. exercise. it made all the difference to me, i felt sexier and more comfortable with my body and therefore more open to working my way back to the bed.
hope that helps! :) good luck, it will be rough at first but remember how much you love your hubby/why you married him and how happy it will make him (and you too!) to get that intimacy back!
I restress the LUBRICATE part. That was my major problem. And for the first year it was all quickies. Honestly, I couldn't be bothered but it was important for my hubby... I never want him to look outside. So, I sucked it up and went for quickies. It's tough at first and feels like a chore, but you'll get it back... trust me! Just be honest with your hubby.. and TALK!
The main thing is, don't feel you are alone in this.. we all went thru it!! And we're all having raving/screaming S and O now! You'll be there soon. ;)
I came across your blog by accident and fell in love with it. Congrats on your little one, I have my first after many years of trying who is now just 5wks old. Come visit my blog sometimes, and I hope you don't mind me adding you as a friend!
No advice from me, but I hear this is pretty common for new moms -- hope the libido comes back with a vengeance ;-)
Also, just had to add that I am a long-time reader (for over a year), but posting for the first time. Yea, I'm one of those weird people (or maybe the ONLY weird person) that, when I come across a good blog, I like to read it from the very beginning (first post) to the end (most recent post), and I FINALLY got to the current date this past weekend!
I love your blog -- keep doing what you're doing :-)
Mrs D and Subway Mom both hit the nail on the head. Breastfeeding killed my libido and totally dried me out. Everything hurt so bad that I went back to the doctor. I was given estrogen cream and told to use a lot of lube. It helped a lot but the urge still wasn't there too often. But communication is so important--remind your husband that it has nothing to do with him. Exhaustion and hormones are tough to manage. Do what you can for him. Don't make yourself nuts, but quickies can work wonders. Make time for it, make it an event, and hopefully you'll psyche yourself up for some fun!
It will come back, it just takes time. After my first baby, it took what seemed like a loooong time, then the next one a little sooner, and the last one, well, lets just say I didn't wait to see the Dr. :) Good luck.
I more than welcome your comments! I love them and am always looking for advice, encouragement, and love to read about your personal experiences! Speak your mind! And feel free to leave a link to your blog so I can learn more about you! Remember, no comment is too long :)
hahaha!
ReplyDeletelol you are hilarious!!!!
ReplyDeletesorry, I didn't want to laugh but this post is funny, it will come back my dear :-)
ReplyDeleteha! I am SO there as well!
ReplyDeleteme too... if people give you good advice for how to get your mojo back, please share. I'm dying here.
ReplyDeleteMy tips, pray pray pray, and buy something black or red that make you feel pretty. a babysitter wouldn't be a bad idea either!
ReplyDeleteI too remember that time in my life with little ones...especially newborns! Then when you do finally go for it...you spray him with milk at that sweet moment! You have to laugh and wonder why God made sex and your milk let-down connected. Well, afterall, it IS called the "love hormone!" :0)
ReplyDeleteHang in there Jenn. There will be a day when you don't crawl into bed feeling like you're already touched out!
hahaha - I hear you. The best is when baby starts crying while at it... whatever mojo you have at the time will be gone in a snap and you will probably run to baby leaving hubby behind! LOL Babysitter is a great idea! :)
ReplyDeleteNEW READER ALERT.. Hi everyone!
ReplyDelete@BMM it will come back.. one day. Randomly. You will be in the kitchen and he will stretch across to grab some milk for his cereal and then BAM! Dont hurt him.
All the best
Ro
Aww! This is too funny because I remember feeling like this a lot right after my son was born. Wait...sometimes I still feel like this. Maybe you need to do a follow-up post to provide any advice that you may receive! ;)
ReplyDeleteI remember thinking this wouldnt be an issue since i had a c-section (and thought tearing would be the only thing I had to really worry about anyways...boy was I wrong!), and I would recommend the following, take it or leave it :)
ReplyDelete1. Keep open communication with the hubby. Let him know how you feel and that it may take awhile before you are back at it with the same gusto. and let him know that the more compliments he gives you (and the more he helps out around the house/with baby) the better/more inclined you will feel towards getting down and dirty.
2. Wear something sexy. I chose a cute tank top that covered my still bulging belly and it made me feel soo much better.
3. Keep the bra on. I wore one that was slightly smaller to show off cleavage, but (As I warned my Mr.) milk leakage is too common a problem..save yourself the embarassment and keep it on!
4. Pump right before. You'll feel much better if youre not engorged/soaking a nursing pad.
5. lubricate, lubricate, lubricate. i cannot stress that enough.
6. keep your mind busy thinking about how it felt before the baby... (remembering it will only get better with practice) and whatever you do, don't think about the baby! (we waited till ours had been sleeping a few hours and was officially down for the night). nothing kills libido like a screaming baby!
and finally 7. exercise. it made all the difference to me, i felt sexier and more comfortable with my body and therefore more open to working my way back to the bed.
hope that helps! :) good luck, it will be rough at first but remember how much you love your hubby/why you married him and how happy it will make him (and you too!) to get that intimacy back!
Amen, sister!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, it's just on vacation, a long vacation! I've been looking for her too!
ReplyDeleteCome back when you find her...
Those were excellent, Mrs. D.
ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly agree. It really does come back. I have the six kids to show for it. LOL
LOL, I will definitely include that in the reasons I should not worry about TTC and having a baby :)!
ReplyDeleteLOL, LOL :D!
Oh goodness, I wonder how long it takes for most new moms to get it back.
ReplyDeleteUh oh, not looking forward to that part.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm 14 months from even TTC so I guess I've got a LOOONG way before that becomes an issue.
I hope Libido comes running back to ya ASAP!
It doesn't come back I swear till you stop breastfeeding.
ReplyDeleteoh my! hahaha! so it never stops being a fight once you get preggo!? ahh!
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteMrs D said it perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI restress the LUBRICATE part. That was my major problem. And for the first year it was all quickies. Honestly, I couldn't be bothered but it was important for my hubby... I never want him to look outside. So, I sucked it up and went for quickies. It's tough at first and feels like a chore, but you'll get it back... trust me! Just be honest with your hubby.. and TALK!
The main thing is, don't feel you are alone in this.. we all went thru it!! And we're all having raving/screaming S and O now! You'll be there soon. ;)
I feel you.
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog by accident and fell in love with it. Congrats on your little one, I have my first after many years of trying who is now just 5wks old. Come visit my blog sometimes, and I hope you don't mind me adding you as a friend!
Happy Bloggings from a fellow Jenn.
No advice from me, but I hear this is pretty common for new moms -- hope the libido comes back with a vengeance ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlso, just had to add that I am a long-time reader (for over a year), but posting for the first time. Yea, I'm one of those weird people (or maybe the ONLY weird person) that, when I come across a good blog, I like to read it from the very beginning (first post) to the end (most recent post), and I FINALLY got to the current date this past weekend!
I love your blog -- keep doing what you're doing :-)
I miss mine too, and its been 10 months. Where did it go?
ReplyDeleteMrs D and Subway Mom both hit the nail on the head. Breastfeeding killed my libido and totally dried me out. Everything hurt so bad that I went back to the doctor. I was given estrogen cream and told to use a lot of lube. It helped a lot but the urge still wasn't there too often. But communication is so important--remind your husband that it has nothing to do with him. Exhaustion and hormones are tough to manage. Do what you can for him. Don't make yourself nuts, but quickies can work wonders. Make time for it, make it an event, and hopefully you'll psyche yourself up for some fun!
ReplyDeleteIt will come back, it just takes time. After my first baby, it took what seemed like a loooong time, then the next one a little sooner, and the last one, well, lets just say I didn't wait to see the Dr. :) Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny. Hopefully Libido will be writing you back real soon!
ReplyDeleteToo funny
ReplyDelete