Question: If a friend of yours exclaimed that she ripped her jeans would your first reaction be to ask if she's pregnant?
I'm asking because this happened to me, and it's the second time this question has come up (my husband's funeral is next week) and I'm really starting to feel self conscious.
Next, I'm extremely bloated. Like so bloated I'm always sucking my stomach in when I'm wearing tight shirts to keep myself from looking pregnant. I need a girdle people.
I took a pregnancy test to be sure.
Negative.
I'm a hypochondriac, so even though I'm breastfeeding, not ovulating, on birth control, and can't get pregnant from making out, I still worry I am. Why else would I look this way? Why did I manage to wear my size 4 jeans through my entire pregnancy but rip them last week?
Why are my workouts with baby not slimming me down? Now I've gotta run too? Like real, hard, exercise? Yuck!
I took two more pregnancy tests to be sure.
Still negative.
I once saw a guy on the Discovery channel that had elephantitis and his face got really really big. Maybe I have that in my stomach?
I was hoping I'd have an excuse. But I'm not pregnant. And I don't have elephantitis. I'm just fat.
I'm no longer in denial. It's time I do something drastic. Commit myself to something. A gym pass just won't cut it. It's not enough to motivate me. I think I'll join Stroller Strides. It's not Jenny Craig, Weight or Watchers, but it's cheaper than getting lipo.
I may have just freaked out for a second. I didn't catch the "funeral" joke! I thought something terrible had happened! And then, I figured it out. Whew!
ReplyDeleteI wear one of those slimwear things I got it from Kohl's. I guess it's kind of like a girdle. But until I loose the weight it holds me in and I don't have to feel as self-concisous! :)
ReplyDeleteOkay first things first: breastfeeding has not helped me lose any weight. I actually believe it's kept it on - maybe my body is laying down the fat deposits for when I get sick and need something from my body when I can't eat.
ReplyDeleteSecondly: totally feeling you on this one. I got into every pair of jeans I owned right up until 2 weeks prior to giving birth and then all of a sudden AFTER birth I couldn't even fit into maternity clothes...
Anyone who EVER asks if anyone is pregnant based one weight is a jerk. Seriously, it's just terrible social etiquette. Second, you look *just fine*. You just had a baby. If anything in the world earns you a breather, that should be it. Cuddle your little beauty, burn calories playing with her, and worry about the rest as it comes :)
ReplyDeletei have this problem with my belly too. I looked thru a bunch of blogs and realized what I have is Diastasis Recti (separation of the abdominal muscles). Two different "workout gurus" can help with this apparently: Julie Tupler and Helene Byrne. I have yet to commit myself 100% to these exercise but yea, SOMETHING must be done soon.
ReplyDeleteWow wow WOW!! Thank you ladies for your comments, it's SO NICE knowing I'm not alone! I've had this post sitting in my drafts forever slightly scared to admit this. Glad there are others, we can work at this together ladies!!
ReplyDelete@L.I I need to look into those workouts.
@Beth, I TOTALLY agree with you!
@Cara, I think breastfeeding is making me hold on to my last bit of fat deposits too, or at least I'm hoping that's what it is. I used to have a SIX PACK people!
@Kathryn I need to get me one of those!
@Christina, I wasn't kidding ;)
My mom got me a girdle after I had Moo. It helped some, but after a while I felt awful that I had to wear one in the first place. I agree that breastfeeding didn't help me shed any pounds. I think all those stories I heard about breastfeeding helping with weight loss are lies!!
ReplyDeleteIt took 6 months before I actually saw any drastic change. Have you thought about joining a mom group from Meetup.com? My playgroup does fitness stroller walks at the mall, the park and a few of their churches do regular workout groups during the week as well.
i'm hoping I don't have to eat my words in a few months time but actually you have it good. Judging from that picture...it's all about perspectives. Too you your mummy tummy might seem HUGE. but to me it just looks like a mum tum. Lil J is like what 7 months? and it seems like you are doing all the right things i.e yoga, eating healthy and yes join stroller strides. walking with the buggy is just as good cardio. give your self time and cut yourself some slack. Tell yourself you are doing the right things. I hope I remember this when Lil' Bean is born and I have a weight meltdown (I already had 2 this pregnancy)
ReplyDeleteYou are going the right direction! You are! x
I lost lots of baby weight nursing EXCEPT in the tummy. Argh. I am now 110 pounds but still wear spanx. I am starting a workout routine because things are nuts..
ReplyDeletei lost all my baby weight pretty much within the first week after having baby almost 9 months ago and i have stayed at exactly the same weight since and i am breastfeeding as well. I have heard its harder to lose weight while BF so i have decided to not worry about it right now stay active and when she is done with the boob we will go into make mommy look amazing time and my efforts will hopefully be rewarded. You look great try not to worry about it! you have a beautiful little girl that is worth it all!
ReplyDeleteWearing a belly band really helped me post-baby, and I found once I started BC about 10 wks post-partum it actually started causing me to bloat. I've now switched to a hormone-free IUD and feel much better and have been working out to help the tummy go down even further. DH actually poked my fluff this morning during our workout and said, "OOOH it feels funny!" I almost kicked him in the head with my Nikes!
ReplyDeleteWow... fat in size 4. Pardon me, I'll be crawling into a hole to die now... I've never even dreamed of a size 4.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've never had a baby.
Aw I think you look just fine! Reading your comments, I can see why you're sad though if you used to have a six pack. I don't have any children yet but I certainly don't have a six pack! Haha, I think that you're doing just fine besides, maybe your jeans ripped from pulling them up too many times...that has nothing to do with weight :)
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm a new follower. I think you and your family are just beautiful. You don't look fat & your daughter couldn't be any cuter!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I think you look great! Second, trust your body! It's probably holding onto some weight to make sure you'll have enough to feed your little one! For my mom, who was thin when she got pregnant, sure, she lost some weight right after she had me, and more dropped off by about 4 months...but they she plateaued...until 9 months post-partum when it started melting off and she was thinner than she was pre-pregnancy (and did not look healthy!).
ReplyDeleteLast, remind your husband that while you may not be pregnant (and are not going to get that way with obnoxious comments from him!) you are feeding another human being (and a chunker at that!)...what kind of miracle has he done today?! :P
Best of luck and keep us posted!
i had my baby just a few weeks after you had lil j and I still have the Fat Pooch :( yours is much cuter than mine (aka smaller), and I've been working out like a madwoman too! I think that whole "9 months up, 9 months down" thing really hit the mark. as much as i wanted to deny it, it really is the truth.
ReplyDeletebut seriously you still look amazing. so i wouldnt worry about it too much, and once summer hits and the good foods are in season and I/you are outside more, it will eventually go away :)no worries!
Also freaked out at the funeral comment... yikes. I just had a baby six months ago - If you check out my blog, I recently posted a very similar picture lol. I have a three year old too and although I am having random freak outs, I just keep reminding myself its just residual baby and it will go away! No worries!
ReplyDeleteHi, :) So I breastfed for 2 years, and was chubby the entire time. Soon as I stopped, I dropped weight from doing nothing. I read your body holds on to that extra fat to help you produce milk. Either way, I know it was worth it :) I'm sure it'll go away soon, just enjoy your little girl! :)
ReplyDeleteOMG! I was in hysterics reading this because I have had and still have the same problem and my "baby" is 3 years 7 months... I gained exactly 10 lbs with the last one and after having her I have gained about 20 lbs... I completely purged my closet of all my tight fitting shirts and got rid of all of my pre-pregnancy clothes because I was getting so depressed (I'm in a size 10-12 now and before having ANY children I was in a size "0" SCARY, I know but that was also 10 years ago, LOL!) I have been yelled at for taking certain medication because people have thought I was pregnant, heck I even looked more pregnant than the pregnant women at my job...
ReplyDeleteI have grown accustomed to it as well as have motivated myself (most days) to train for a 5K, 10K and 15K to be in better health. Because as long as I know I can do those things I know that I am at least semi healthy, even if strangers think I am about 5 months along...SMH!
Hang in there, it will all melt away, after my first it did. Between my 2nd and 3rd it didn't have a chance to even rest and so now it has all the time in the world and I will beat it, LOL!
I did lose weight from breastfeeding--I ended up nearly 10 pounds less than pre-pregnancy, which NEVER happened no matter how much I worked out prior. However...I gained it all back (and then some) in the year or so after I stopped breastfeeding. It's a known fact that breastfeeding burns calories, but I do believe that different women's bodies hold on to weight differently, as well. Despite the fact that I was so much lighter while breastfeeding, my belly stayed chubby. All the weight went out of my hips, thighs, and butt. Now the weight's back in those areas and my stomach is still chubby. My baby's almost three now. It's tolerable and my old clothes mostly fit (how they look is a different story). but it is frustrating. I work out twice a week, too. If I push out my gut I can easily look about 25 weeks along, without a problem. If I don't suck in I look like I remember feeling around 15 weeks...fat. I'm not sure the belly's ever going anywhere, and I am seriously considering Spanx so some of my old stuff at least looks better! It's no fun, but I think it's par for the course, unfortunately :(
ReplyDeleteLOL thought this post was rather funny. I was "After baby pregnant" too for awhile, I think that breastfeeding actually helps your uterus shrink but not lose weight I think it does the opposite: storing fat and calories to make your breastmilk super. Because once I stopped breastfeeding, I lost so much weight simply through eating healthy- No exercise, not even walking (though I love to walk but go figure it was dead winter and the flu is not worth weight loss LOL) YOU ARE LOOKING GREAT IN YOUR SIZE 4, I have loss baby weight and then some and I'm not a size 4, so jealous!
ReplyDeleteAre you doing ab work outs consistently? It took a while for me to loose my tummy, but ab workouts at home helped a lot, with a workout ball. . Also, eat a lot of blueberries. Blueberries were studied and shown not only are they powerful antioxidants but they help get rid of the belly fat.
ReplyDeleteLol at anonymous! Toooo funny- I'm right there with ya. But you know us ladies, weight is always about perspective. The size 0 who gains 20 pounds will likely still always pine for the size 0. We all want to be the skinniest we ever were for always.
ReplyDelete@Quiana
ReplyDeletehilarious!
I'm so glad I'm not alone! I want to have my baby with me at all times so that people automatically know that I have a baby and am not pregnant! I thought breast feeding was supposed to help but i've heard that sometimes when you finish breast feeding it helps lose weight. ::sigh::
ReplyDeleteI have found that I lose weight from breastfeeding in the first 6-8 months post-partum, but after that, I start to gain weight again, I guess because the babies start to breastfeed less, I burn less calories, and I don't change my eating!
ReplyDeleteFirst-- breastfeeding never helped me lose even an ounce. I'm convinced that's a myth :) Second--I kind of agree with Anonymous up there... if you're fat in what I'm assuming is now a size 6 if you ripped your 4's, then I feel like the Sta-Puff Marshmallow man in my big ol' size 16's that I still wear almost 2 years after being pregnant. I wasn't even a size 4 in high school, and I'm only 5'4". Fear not dear blogosphere friend, you still look more fab than many of us mommies! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should read this post: http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are teeny and look fab!
ReplyDeleteSecond, I'm totally feeling what you're going thru. My lil' man is not even 4 months and I still have that going on. People who saw me right before I delivered have asked me how much longer I have - like...don't I look at least a little smaller than the last time you saw me??!!
I'm telling you -- eat 50% raw and you will lose it FAST. I'm skinnier now than I was when I got married. I do pilates and yoga and that's about it as far as exercise goes. I had some stubborn weight that would not budge until I made half of what I ate raw fruits or veggies. In about 3 weeks it was gone!
ReplyDeleteNo worries about how you look. I think you look great. But you need to think you look great too. So. Find something that works for you and go with it. Remember though that pregnancy kills stomach muscles. I've lost all my baby weight, plus ten more pounds running and spinning, and I STILL have to hold my stomach in. I'm not holding in fat... I'm holding in muscles that have been overly taxed and stretched from pregnancy. Babies are worth it though. :)
ReplyDeletedo you eat a lot of carbs? (even whole grain ones)? or sweets (which are also carbs)? I have found that reducing my sugars/carbs and focusing on proteins and veggies/fruits has helped me feel better and I've dropped a couple of pounds as a bonus (I hadn't been trying). It's not Atkins, it's "The Primal Blueprint" (see www.marksdailyapple.com ) I am not wholly on board with it, but I just know what my own experience has been as I've shifted to fewer carbs in my diet. I used to snack constantly on (homemade) muffins, or (homemade) whole wheat bread, or things like that...but when I switched to snacking on cheese or hard boiled eggs or apples or whatever, it worked out a lot better for me. So that's an idea to look into.
ReplyDeleteI can't lose all my baby weight as long as I'm breastfeeding. It doesn't matter how much I diet or exercise, my metabolism comes to a screeching halt to provide for baby. LOL
ReplyDeleteI wish I had your problem! :P. I don't think I've ever been that small.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't seem to lose any weight after my 1st. It's not as bad with #2. A slender friend of mine said she never loses all her baby weight while bfing. She slums down as soon, or soon after, weaning.
This whole post made me chuckle...especially your line about the twins. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteIt may be your abdominal muscles are weak and you may also be retaining water. I would watch your sodium intake and see if you may have some food allergies that might have been onset by pregnancy? Also, the best way I know of to get rid of belly fat other than cutting out sugar, is High Intensity Interval Training... it only takes 20 minutes 2-3 times a week. I'm telling you, it really works, I'm a trainer, I have witnessed the results myself.
ReplyDeleteSame problem, got worse after stopping breastfeeding. . . not my favorite thing right now!
ReplyDeleteP.S. you can still ovulate while breastfeeding. . .
"Suck-me-in undies" as a mummy friend would say ;) My trick was to just get pregnant again, lol! I had 5kgs (11ish pounds) left to get to pre-pregnancy weight, and I've been careful to not put on too much this time around (so far about half what I did with my son!) so hopefully I can lose the fat quicker. Loose, saggy skin however... *sigh*
ReplyDelete9 months to put it on ATLEAST 9 months to take it off. You look great! Stop worrying yourself.
ReplyDeleteZUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletei was going to post about diastasis recti and saw that someone did above. go to www.diastasisrehab.com and you'll see why you still have a "mummy tummy." i still have my lower belly pooch despite being slightly lower then my pre-preggo weight. i did a form of the diastasis exercises for 6 weeks and saw a difference, although i need to continue to fully close my diastasis and get rid of the tummy for good. the most important thing i can stress is not to do any form of sit ups or crunches as they only make it worse!!!
ReplyDeletei also tried to lose weight starting at the 9 week mark with my little one. i was nursing and found it incredibly difficult. when i went in for my 6 month checkup, my doctor told me that it is very unlikely to hold on to weight while nursing, even though a lot of people say they do. she told me to watch my portions. so i did. i started counting calories and i worked out a little harder and the pounds came right off. it really is about how much you eat and how much you burn. but if i have another one, i would wait until 6 months to even start trying to lose weight. my body needed all the food it was getting while she was still exclusively nursing.
i'm 11.5 months post partum now and am feeling good...just want to get rid of the tummy!
I was one who could not lose an ounce as long as I was breastfeeding. When the baby was weaned, I began to lose weight.....it actually fell off. Just keep exercising. When Lil J is no longer breastfeeding, it should come off. For some women, holding onto fat while nursing makes you hold onto weight :( I thought I was the only person who did not lose weight while nursing.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, having a baby can totally change your body. Some of us get nice big bewbies out of the deal but occasionally babies leave us with extra large butts or muffin tops instead. I was a naturally fit-never work out-ate whatever I wanted size 8 before I got pregnant with my son. I'm a curvy girl, always have been, but I looked really good at that size. After the first baby, ugh. No matter how much I worked out and ate right I just couldn't drop that last 20 lbs. Ok, so I'm probably not making you feel any better, except my whole point is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And your poor tummy has been through some serious trauma, give it time. It will shrink back down!
ReplyDeleteYeah I feel the same way. But bc of my heart Im supposed to take it easy, so i am going to go what i can do on the beachbody 30 days. hubby is giong to do it with me. and, by the way, you are not fat! y
ReplyDeleteBreastfeeding helped my daughter lose weight, and fast. Not me. She always eats small amounts of food, though, and stays thin that way.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I had a baby I had weight to lose. I remember jogging and only DRINKING 500 calories a day for a month or two to lose it. Tough job for me!
At 55 I have discovered two things that work for me. If I feel bloated it is beacause of the food I eat-carbs. So besides having RA, I eat low carb (though do eat dark chcolate) and it works so much better for me than starving myself. I can eat much more and stay thinner. Plus, I feel so much better and sleep better-and don't bloat up. Also hubby and I walk a strenuous 3 miles up and downhill walk every day. Good sweat out! That really helps the bloat!
Of course with nursing you can't be drastic with your diet. But man, I always had problems after having my babies and had to really work hard on it-cause I had to keep wearing maternity clothes which I detested!
You look beautiful, you know.
You are not fat. After I had my daughter I became extremely lactose intolerant. If I would come anywhere near dairy I'd bloat up. Stress can also cause major bloating.
ReplyDeleteI lost a lot of weight after my first, but my tummy didn't go away (I always tend to store weight there anyway). I think hormones have a ton to do with the weight loss- I've heard lots of stories of women who gained/ couldn't lose weight on different forms of the pill, it seems to depend on each individual's chemistry (same for breastfeeding).
ReplyDeleteI keep seeing new brands of denim that are supposed to appeal to "curvy women" and they ALL assume that women curve in the rear and hips/thighs, but not the belly. One brand is even called "Little in the Middle"! Me, even at my skinniest (size 2-4) I always tend towards a back waistband gap with a tummy pooch. I guess "Big in the Middle" jeans wouldn't sell, though... Can we make mom jeans fashionable?
Oh I so sympathize with you! And I was pregnant just ten years ago;-)
ReplyDeleteSpring is a good time to get out and about though, and even make the occasional peace with back-elastic numbers.
Be happy.
Try eliminating cow's milk. It makes a BIG difference in my size and weight! The bloat as well as pounds disappear when I eliminate cow's milk (and reduce other dairy)!
ReplyDeleteHippocrates, the originator of the Hippocratic oath, which, unfortunately, too many Docs ignore now-a-days, says, "Let food be thy medicine, and let thy medicine be food." I know this is truly possible, so, too, the reverse is as well. What ails you? I'm gunna guess it's a problematic food MORE than just a fatness issue. Especially since you said you were in the size 4s through your pregnancy!
JMHO, though!
Ha. I can so relate to this! Except I think my mystery baby is growing in my thighs/ass instead of in my belly.
ReplyDeleteI think it is a complete fallacy that nursing helps you lose weight, at least that was my experience. I was quite disappointed and felt lied to! LOL. I was actually going to suggest what L.I. Tucker mentioned about ab separation. There are ways to "test" whether you have it. Ab separation is usually to blame for a lingering pooch and it can affect your upper and/or lower abs. If you're doing a lot of crunches, ect to get your belly down, you can actually be worsening the ab separation. Read up on it; most women get it while pregnant, but we all recover from it differently.
ReplyDeleteYou look great, though. Seriously.
It took you 10 months to make a baby and put on the weight, my thing was I'm going to give myself at least that long to take off the baby weight. And it did come off -- in most part because of exclusive breastfeeding, I'm convinced.
ReplyDeleteYou look great, give yourself a break :)
Dagmar
Dagmar's momsense
I always hear how women are supposed to lose weight while breastfeeding. I haven't yet met a single woman who has, and one doctor I spoke with said the body is holding onto everything it has because it knows it needs the nutrients for feeding. So hopefully I'll be able to drop some weight then; my mother shed a lot of weight as soon as she stopped breastfeeding. Unfortunately, I'll be trying to get pregnant again as soon as feeding is done. No time to diet!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I feel you. My son will be seven months soon and I also still have a soft belly. Yuck! I also have been disappointed that nursing hasn't helped me to slim down like I was hoping for. My feelings about my body have truly been the hardest part of motherhood for me, which I guess is a good thing when you think about it. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThere are many ladies who are very fat but we can not say that they are pregnant. But they are little fat. Such that breastfeeding not helping you to loose weight.
ReplyDeleteI gained all my weight while breastfeeding each of my littles. The one time I stopped (in 5 kids) I did lose, only to get preggers again! LOL! I can share that a very helpful book for me was Eat Well, Lose Weight While Breastfeeding. When I stuck with it, it worked. Sadly, I never stuck with it...
ReplyDeleteI think it is a complete fallacy that nursing helps you lose weight, at least that was my experience. I was quite disappointed and felt lied to! LOL. I was actually going to suggest what L.I. Tucker mentioned about ab separation. There are ways to "test" whether you have it. Ab separation is usually to blame for a lingering pooch and it can affect your upper and/or lower abs. If you're doing a lot of crunches, ect to get your belly down, you can actually be worsening the ab separation. Read up on it; most women get it while pregnant, but we all recover from it differently.
ReplyDeleteYou look great, though. Seriously.
do you eat a lot of carbs? (even whole grain ones)? or sweets (which are also carbs)? I have found that reducing my sugars/carbs and focusing on proteins and veggies/fruits has helped me feel better and I've dropped a couple of pounds as a bonus (I hadn't been trying). It's not Atkins, it's "The Primal Blueprint" (see www.marksdailyapple.com ) I am not wholly on board with it, but I just know what my own experience has been as I've shifted to fewer carbs in my diet. I used to snack constantly on (homemade) muffins, or (homemade) whole wheat bread, or things like that...but when I switched to snacking on cheese or hard boiled eggs or apples or whatever, it worked out a lot better for me. So that's an idea to look into.
ReplyDeletei was going to post about diastasis recti and saw that someone did above. go to www.diastasisrehab.com and you'll see why you still have a "mummy tummy." i still have my lower belly pooch despite being slightly lower then my pre-preggo weight. i did a form of the diastasis exercises for 6 weeks and saw a difference, although i need to continue to fully close my diastasis and get rid of the tummy for good. the most important thing i can stress is not to do any form of sit ups or crunches as they only make it worse!!!
ReplyDeletei also tried to lose weight starting at the 9 week mark with my little one. i was nursing and found it incredibly difficult. when i went in for my 6 month checkup, my doctor told me that it is very unlikely to hold on to weight while nursing, even though a lot of people say they do. she told me to watch my portions. so i did. i started counting calories and i worked out a little harder and the pounds came right off. it really is about how much you eat and how much you burn. but if i have another one, i would wait until 6 months to even start trying to lose weight. my body needed all the food it was getting while she was still exclusively nursing.
i'm 11.5 months post partum now and am feeling good...just want to get rid of the tummy!
LOL thought this post was rather funny. I was "After baby pregnant" too for awhile, I think that breastfeeding actually helps your uterus shrink but not lose weight I think it does the opposite: storing fat and calories to make your breastmilk super. Because once I stopped breastfeeding, I lost so much weight simply through eating healthy- No exercise, not even walking (though I love to walk but go figure it was dead winter and the flu is not worth weight loss LOL) YOU ARE LOOKING GREAT IN YOUR SIZE 4, I have loss baby weight and then some and I'm not a size 4, so jealous!
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm a new follower. I think you and your family are just beautiful. You don't look fat & your daughter couldn't be any cuter!
ReplyDeleteAw I think you look just fine! Reading your comments, I can see why you're sad though if you used to have a six pack. I don't have any children yet but I certainly don't have a six pack! Haha, I think that you're doing just fine besides, maybe your jeans ripped from pulling them up too many times...that has nothing to do with weight :)
ReplyDeleteI lost lots of baby weight nursing EXCEPT in the tummy. Argh. I am now 110 pounds but still wear spanx. I am starting a workout routine because things are nuts..
ReplyDeleteOkay first things first: breastfeeding has not helped me lose any weight. I actually believe it's kept it on - maybe my body is laying down the fat deposits for when I get sick and need something from my body when I can't eat.
ReplyDeleteSecondly: totally feeling you on this one. I got into every pair of jeans I owned right up until 2 weeks prior to giving birth and then all of a sudden AFTER birth I couldn't even fit into maternity clothes...
yes there are so many women are fat but mean that they are not pregnant. but they have fat on there stomach. if they women are use daily ab machine work out then they will get 100% positive results.
ReplyDelete