Oh my! haha :) This kinda made me laugh, but I've been up at work all night, so..I cannot be held responsible for my laughter!
I personally feel like it's kinda unfair to not make an effort to stay in shape & attractive for your spouse. So many people stop trying once they're married.
We´ve been married for 13 years and I´ve gained weight over these years. It´s not that bad, but I always wondered about the same thing like you do. But luckily my Husband still loves me the same. :o)
Hahaha, this cracked me up. I was like, is that her sister or something?!! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does this in front of the mirror/camera.
Well, my hubby does not care if I am thin or heavy-just healthy. Everyone is different, though, and for some it may be an issue. You have to be happy with yourself, though. I think if you are disciplined and eat really healthy and exercise you will be where you want and hubby would be happy.(What we do in our home. Low carb for me.) If you would live on junk a disciplined guy might be ticked. That would disturb me if my hubby didn't try. Just depends on the guy.
I say you have a good man that doesn't care about the physical and that's a GOOD thing. :) But then again...that's what he SAYS, if he were actually tested is another story LOL
So...what if HE got that big...how would YOU feel/see him? Would you answer the same? :)
I'll be honest. I will still love my husband after he surpasses what I consider to be my weight gain (for him) threshold, but there is a difference between love and physical attractiveness. I will love him and would never leave him for it, but I would really have a harder time wanting to get intimate or having the same high sex drive I have now if he's let himself go. If I'm expected to maintain, the same should be expected of him.
I say love....true love is unconditional. In the beginning (dating stage) we all have to admit that there must be a physical attraction that lures us in, but eventually, we find out things about the person that also attracts us. Ten years later, yeah, we would still like that person to look the way they did when we first met but that is not realistic. We age, we gain/lose weight, grey hair, wrinkles etc. If it’s true love, we look beyond all the futile things and appreciate the person for who they are, not what they look like. BTW, love the Photoshop!
True love has nothing to do with physical appearance. You are a lucky woman. If you turn it around and he looked like that, how would you feel? I'm a lucky woman who's husband loves her unconditionally. He's also lucky as there is nothing that he could do to make me not love him. Congratulations on finding such a caring man.
He would love you. I was not at all heavy when I got married and my husband loves me more today then he did then. Love has nothing to do with appearance.
One more thing. Don't ask him stuff like this in front of Little J. Please don't give her a complex about being overweight, or that looks are important. You are worth so much more than your physical appearance.
Ok, I answered already but I want to add something. Hubby and I have been married for 35 years and we are still very attracted to each other. Very. I feel it is also about looking good and not turning sloppy or giving up. Takes more work as you get older, too. We exercise together every single day for one thing. But you also accept aging in a person, too. And it is good your eyesite isn't what it used to be! LOL Everyone gets old. Try to dress nice for your spouse and groom yourself. I do hair and makeup every day and try to stay updated. We shop together and if he likes something for me I will buy it and the same for his clothes. We take each other into consideration and try to please each other. Even if you gain some you can still look lovely. Attitude says so much, too. A fantastic personality can't be beat.
My husband was a pro athlete so being in shape ws something that was critical, and I've always been physically active playing sports since I was a kid. I think us both being like-minded on physical fitness was important in our expectations prior to getting married. It's very important to us to make sure we both are fit for each other. This is what works for us!
How fun! I love having these "what if" conversations with people -- it's always fun to talk about things like that. And OF COURSE he would still love you. No "but"s. :)
When it comes to love, looks are only important for the initial attraction. After that, it's all about how you feel about him/her. You have a wonderful personality and are a good person. That's what's important.
I agree with Sarah. I know DH would still love me, however, that strong attraction that was there might not be as strong. I don't think that's superficial on his part or anything at all - he wouldn't divorce me. But he fell in love with me looking one way, and to look drastically different might change how attracted he is to me. And vice versa. (And I don't mean gaining 10-20 pounds - that happens). I mean DRASTICALLY different, like becoming morbidly obese.
But I agree with a few other posters, I'd want my significant other to stay in shape so we have a higher chance of being with each other for a longer time :)
You're so much braver than I am - I would never in a thousand years want to imagine what I would look like fat. I'm sure my husband would love me, but we are never EVER going to find out! :-)
I more than welcome your comments! I love them and am always looking for advice, encouragement, and love to read about your personal experiences! Speak your mind! And feel free to leave a link to your blog so I can learn more about you! Remember, no comment is too long :)
I ask John questions like this all the time. He now finds ways to avoid answering. It's hysterical. His answers are just like your hubbys lol.
ReplyDeletePS - how did you make that pic? I want to use it and see how I'll look preggo :)
PS2 - hope you're feeling much better after your rough Sunday.
xo,
Dani
www.okdani.com
Oh my! haha :) This kinda made me laugh, but I've been up at work all night, so..I cannot be held responsible for my laughter!
ReplyDeleteI personally feel like it's kinda unfair to not make an effort to stay in shape & attractive for your spouse. So many people stop trying once they're married.
But that's just me.
It is for better or worse and for eternity. I say, good answer (cue clapping & family feud music)
ReplyDeleteYes, we do want our spouses to be healthy so they can stay with us longer and enjoy more activities with us.
girl you got married for better or for worse. Of course he'd love you.
ReplyDeleteWe´ve been married for 13 years and I´ve gained weight over these years. It´s not that bad, but I always wondered about the same thing like you do. But luckily my Husband still loves me the same. :o)
ReplyDeleteHahaha, this cracked me up. I was like, is that her sister or something?!! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does this in front of the mirror/camera.
ReplyDeleteI'd love you! :)
ReplyDeleteHe would! Mine still does:)
ReplyDeleteWell, my hubby does not care if I am thin or heavy-just healthy. Everyone is different, though, and for some it may be an issue.
ReplyDeleteYou have to be happy with yourself, though.
I think if you are disciplined and eat really healthy and exercise you will be where you want and hubby would be happy.(What we do in our home. Low carb for me.) If you would live on junk a disciplined guy might be ticked. That would disturb me if my hubby didn't try.
Just depends on the guy.
I say you have a good man that doesn't care about the physical and that's a GOOD thing. :) But then again...that's what he SAYS, if he were actually tested is another story LOL
ReplyDeleteSo...what if HE got that big...how would YOU feel/see him? Would you answer the same? :)
I'll be honest. I will still love my husband after he surpasses what I consider to be my weight gain (for him) threshold, but there is a difference between love and physical attractiveness. I will love him and would never leave him for it, but I would really have a harder time wanting to get intimate or having the same high sex drive I have now if he's let himself go. If I'm expected to maintain, the same should be expected of him.
I'm fat, my husband loves me. Why wouldn't yours? Fat doesn't mean unlovable or unattractive.
ReplyDeleteI say love....true love is unconditional. In the beginning (dating stage) we all have to admit that there must be a physical attraction that lures us in, but eventually, we find out things about the person that also attracts us. Ten years later, yeah, we would still like that person to look the way they did when we first met but that is not realistic. We age, we gain/lose weight, grey hair, wrinkles etc. If it’s true love, we look beyond all the futile things and appreciate the person for who they are, not what they look like. BTW, love the Photoshop!
ReplyDeleteTrue love has nothing to do with physical appearance. You are a lucky woman. If you turn it around and he looked like that, how would you feel? I'm a lucky woman who's husband loves her unconditionally. He's also lucky as there is nothing that he could do to make me not love him. Congratulations on finding such a caring man.
ReplyDeleteHe would love you. I was not at all heavy when I got married and my husband loves me more today then he did then. Love has nothing to do with appearance.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing. Don't ask him stuff like this in front of Little J. Please don't give her a complex about being overweight, or that looks are important. You are worth so much more than your physical appearance.
ReplyDeleteI say he's a sweet man because honestly it's hard to find men who aren't just all about the outward but more focused on the inward.
ReplyDeleteOk, I answered already but I want to add something.
ReplyDeleteHubby and I have been married for 35 years and we are still very attracted to each other. Very.
I feel it is also about looking good and not turning sloppy or giving up. Takes more work as you get older, too. We exercise together every single day for one thing. But you also accept aging in a person, too. And it is good your eyesite isn't what it used to be! LOL Everyone gets old.
Try to dress nice for your spouse and groom yourself. I do hair and makeup every day and try to stay updated. We shop together and if he likes something for me I will buy it and the same for his clothes. We take each other into consideration and try to please each other.
Even if you gain some you can still look lovely.
Attitude says so much, too. A fantastic personality can't be beat.
hahahaha you make me laugh! ::insert awkward moment here:: :D
ReplyDeletehe is implying- I would still love you but not be as attracted to you. Not as proud of your looks. Not stare at your sexy body as much.
ReplyDeleteI think it's just like if you were ill or hurt or incapacitated. Love still stands. And it is strong. But the "lust" part can fade.
Heaven help us all! :)
My husband was a pro athlete so being in shape ws something that was critical, and I've always been physically active playing sports since I was a kid. I think us both being like-minded on physical fitness was important in our expectations prior to getting married. It's very important to us to make sure we both are fit for each other. This is what works for us!
ReplyDeleteHow fun! I love having these "what if" conversations with people -- it's always fun to talk about things like that. And OF COURSE he would still love you. No "but"s. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to love, looks are only important for the initial attraction. After that, it's all about how you feel about him/her. You have a wonderful personality and are a good person. That's what's important.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sarah. I know DH would still love me, however, that strong attraction that was there might not be as strong. I don't think that's superficial on his part or anything at all - he wouldn't divorce me. But he fell in love with me looking one way, and to look drastically different might change how attracted he is to me. And vice versa. (And I don't mean gaining 10-20 pounds - that happens). I mean DRASTICALLY different, like becoming morbidly obese.
ReplyDeleteAwww you're a Klump!
ReplyDeleteBut I agree with a few other posters, I'd want my significant other to stay in shape so we have a higher chance of being with each other for a longer time :)
You're so much braver than I am - I would never in a thousand years want to imagine what I would look like fat. I'm sure my husband would love me, but we are never EVER going to find out! :-)
ReplyDeleteDo all women ask this question? I thought it was just my girlfriend...
ReplyDeleteCan someone help me understand why you ladies want to ask this question? Especially since we always tell you the same thing... ;-)