When you're trying to conceive the #1 comment you'll hear from people is "just relax and it'll happen." You know people mean well but it's annoying anyway. It's like no matter how many times you say you are relaxing people assume you're just not relaxing enough. I saw a slogan from a TTC veteran I love: "We relaxed, it didn't work."
Just because you vocalize your frustrations with your situation, or perhaps just thinking about it, doesn't mean you don't believe in the concept of relaxing or "letting it happen."
When I bribe or threaten my baby to come out it doesn't mean I don't believe she won't come out when she's ready... I know she will, but that doesn't mean I won't try to make her ready, or that perhaps she is ready. She has a brain, working lungs, a great heart, cute face, adorable nose... I'm sure she doesn't MIND being fashionably late for the sake of putting on a few extra pounds and lots of locks. This is my daughter we're talking about.
Another thing... This whole theory that everyone just HAS to tell me like it's hush-hush I haven't heard before. A guy at work told me today in the elevator. A dozen people told me on twitter. A few others private-messaged me the tip. It's whispered to me like it's in a book of labor inducing secrets that only the privileged get to hear. What's the big hoopla?: Sex to induce labor.
First of all, a horny man must have decided to publicize this idea because how else is he going to be getting action this late in the game other than from a woman so desperate to get the baby out?
Yea yea, prostaglandins, oxitocin, blah blah blah... Can I get some of that in pill form?
Well, I fell for it anyway, and I won't get into it cause lawd knows my grandma probably reads this blog, but let's just day we've seen more action in the last 9 days than in the entire 9 months. ... It didn't work. I'm sure the man who made this up would just tell me to "have more sex." The woman who swears it worked for her would tell me "well your baby has to be ready," and to that I say if that's the case eating a bowl of ice cream when she's finally "ready" will make her come out, why go through all that work?
Finally... People keep telling me to enjoy my sleep. I understand this advice, especially coming from a tired new mom who can't remember what it's like to get eight full hours of sleep. I know I won't be getting much sleep soon, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sleep 15 hours a night instead of my usual 9. This ain't At&T--I can't roll over my extra hours of sleep for when I have the baby, as much as I'd love to, it's not possible.
I compare it to eating at a buffet. You eat as much as you can, and are so full you just can't stand the thought of making one last plate. Even if that means skipping that chocolate cake you were eyeballing earlier. You leave satisfied, and happy about your decision to skip the dessert.
Well, the next day you skip breakfast and are starving by lunch, all you can think about is that piece of cake you passed on, and are wishing you had eaten it-- when in fact, eating it the night before may have caused you to barf.
So I PROMISE you, I am enjoying my sleep, don't you worry. But I did want this baby who will keep me up many a nights, but you know what, I hear it's worth it.
I'm SO ready to meet her. Now if only she were ready...
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Winner of the Maternitique $50 gift certificate: #2 The Leonard Family. Congrats! I'll email you and you'll have 48 hours to respond!
Just wait until she's out for a while, then the annoying comments turn to "So when are you having another one?". There's an obnoxious comment for every stage girl!
ReplyDeleteWait 'til she comes out and everyone gets all buddy buddy and sidles up to you and says, in confidence, "You want the best advice? Sleep when the baby sleeps! I swear! It works!"
ReplyDeleteAs if they're the only person to ever think of that? Come on!
The best is once you have your little one people will be telling you - oh this too shall pass. Oh that would annoy me to no end. Gotta say...it still irritates me when people say that. Its like really? Do I look like I care right now?? Ahem. Sorry to vent. :o)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! But I have one more piece of advice... Just kidding :)
ReplyDeleteIt will be a good day when you can meet her.
I had like five people tell me "You won't get a good nights sleep again until she's 18," which is BS because I've been sleeping quite well since she was about four months old (she's 2 now). What annoyed me were the questions about whether or not I was going to breastfeed, and when I had a C section someone told me I "cheated" and had it easy. Thanks. I am allergic to narcotics so I survived my C section pain on OTC advil. Yeah, real easy.
ReplyDeleteOh, also- I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the millions of "You STILL haven't had that baby yet?" questions. As if I was just crossing my legs and keeping her in to spite them.
ReplyDeleteWell said hun! I was fortunate enough to be early with our girl so I missed out on the annoying comments but I feel for ya just the same. I'm praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the contest win! :-) Now WE must have another baby so I can use that gift certificate. ha ha! Think hubby will buy that!? I'm working on him! I may just give it to my niece who is pg with her first right now.
Please e-mail me at dropcqueen@yahoo.com and I will give you my information. Thanks!
The sex thing never worked for us. Ever. Besides, at the end of my pregnancy I was to exhausted, uncomfortable and bloated I didn't even want my husband to give me "the look". I do have a friend it worked for though. The only one who came out with home remedy was my daughter by our walking about a mile. That did her in. She was out 18 hours later. She'll come out when she's ready. Maybe even this weekend. Hopefully before the 4th so she can wear her tutu dress. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh I know right? I love that a pregnant belly seems to invite unsolicited advice/comments. We've all heard the "relax" method, we've all heard the "sex" method ... I think my Dr said it best when he said, "It's like the hiccups ... everyone has a cure because none of them work." And the sleep thing? Very well said. Sleeping 10 hours tonight isn't going to do me any good next week!
ReplyDeleteCheated!? X, that is a horrible thing for somebody to say! I've had a c-section, a forceps delivery (that was hellish), and a good "normal" birth. I can tell you that I would rather push any day. I'd even take another forceps delivery, because at least I don't have to recover from a gaping hole in my uterus while breastfeeding a newborn!
ReplyDeleteRecovering from the was the hardest thing I've ever done. The forceps was just as bad (baby got stuck, wide shoulders), but it was over a lot faster. I say a woman who has had all her babies the old fashioned way with no complications is cheating. I look forward to trying to cheat on this next one, too. You poor thing, to go through that and then get no sympathy!
Mama, just hang in there! It's all the advice I have. Whatever you do, do not try castor oil. You get nothing but diarrhea. :-)
Well said! LOVE THIS, and couldn't agree more!
ReplyDelete"Yea yea, prostaglandins, oxitocin, blah blah blah... Can I get some of that in pill form?"
Oh my gosh! I love that ttc quote!
ReplyDeleteWell, I just want to say this about that! If there is one thing in this world I would do all over again if I got the chance, it would be to have all seven of my children over again.
ReplyDeleteAfter that many, you've heard it all and your skin gets a bit thicker. But just a bit. :)
What a time of your life! Fantastic!!
Can I just tell you the one thing that we get told all the time about our current hopes to adopt again??... "It'll happen when it's supposed to happen" to ALL the people that say that to me I just want to yell SHUT UP! rude..I know..but UGH!! seriously!! You don't tell someone thats been married for 10 years and trying for 8.5 of those years to make a family that "It'll happen when it's supposed to happen!!!" Oh and the 2nd thing we get told is "As soon as you turn your adoption papers in your going to get pregnant" OH REALLY?? hmmmm didn't work the first time and we're coming up on our 1 year mark with papers in this time...I wish people would just not say anything at all!!
ReplyDeletethank you for listening to my vent :)
Sorry to tell ya but the sex thing really did work for us, but it was like twice a day for a week. I wasn't dilated at all and only 39 weeks. We were just having fun being a couple so imagine my surprise when he came early!
ReplyDeleteThe comments are only going to get worse when she is here. As you already know, everyone has an opinion about how to raise a child the "right" way. It starts from day one so be prepared!
You are so close!! I understand completely where you are coming from and the comments simply cannot be received well in the days of pregnancy -- no matter how well they are intended. I'm very excited for you to meet your little girl!
ReplyDeletehttp://thewhitebluesky.com
My son was 11 days late and every time someone said, "oh, you still haven't had him yet?" I was thinking the same thing you were. Good luck and fingers crossed that your legs come uncrossed sometime soon! :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome way to critique the sleep comments!! Those always annoyed me. I also hated the "You're still pregnant??" one too. I should have said, "Well, I think so." I don't think the sex thing worked for us either. But I was using the possibility as an excuse to have it. I was the horny one!
ReplyDeleteI got a lot of "Have you had that baby yet?". The first few times I'd just chuckle and say "no, not yet!" but when I got really, REALLY pregnant and was just so done, people would saunter in my office and crack their oh-so-clever, "HAD THAT BABY YET?" quip and I'd just stare at them. I wanted to be like, "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'VE HAD THIS FREAKING BABY YET??"
ReplyDeleteI was also tired of people treating me like a ticking time bomb. Eying me like I was going to explode forth with amniotic fluid at any moment, or telling me not to, you know, WALK, because it could send me into labor. Also near the end, my mother in law would call me EVERY. DAY. and ask if I was having contractions. No? Any cramps? No? Any twinges? No? Any discomfort? No? I wanted to be like, WHEN I FEEL SOMETHING, I PROMISE I WILL CALL YOU.
It never ends, either. Once baby gets here? Its, "Swaddle her and she'll sleep." "Unswaddle her, my kid hates to be swaddled." "Breastfeed her until she's a year." "Don't breastfeed past six months." "Put rice cereal in her bottle to make her sleep through the night." "NO SOLIDS UNTIL 6 MONTHS."
It. Never. Ends.
I almost tweeted this, but thought better of it, and I think it's perfect to post here. I'm 34 weeks pregs and THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY: If you see my prego belly, please don't assume I want to talk about nipples, vaginas or hemorrhoids. SERIOUSLY!
ReplyDeleteI'd say enjoy your sleep but enough people have said that. My advice is to enjoy some time alone. Seriously. It was six months before I was alone again and I missed the ability to do what I wanted without someone else needing something from me (including my husband).
ReplyDeleteAhh, i guess i'm not entirely qualifyed to comment on inducing labour considering we're not pregnant yet... However, i do think the sex to induce labour thing is hillarious!! (i'm sure you're already aware that) drinking raspberry leaf tea and eating fresh pineapple has exactly the same effect as they contain the same chemicals!!
ReplyDeleteI'm only 18 weeks, and I've been getting the "enjoy your sleep while you can" comments since I announced my pregnancy! The problem is they say it like the thought has never occurred to me that I may not be sleeping as much when the baby comes ... umm I'm not stupid! I DO know what I signed myself up for! Great post!
ReplyDeleteDitto to KarmaPearl. DIT-TO!!! Especially the last part about once your baby arrives. Couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteHow frustrating!
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for the last few months (I'm 20 wks pregnant) and have really enjoyed reading about your journey. Best wishes to you in delivery and raising your precious daughter.
Wait til they start saying,"Sleep When the Baby Sleeps". Yeah right!! Not gonna happen. Don't worry, she's coming.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to squeeze in a comment before that glorious D-day day comes :) Just wanted you to know I recently found your blog. I'm at the point in my life right now where you were when you first started this blog! I've started reading from the beginning and loving it. Lots of great info and makes me feel great to know I'm not the only one counting down until I turn that baby making machine ON :) love how you said that... So anyway, I wish you the best with your (hopefully soon!) delivery and the blessed moments to follow!
ReplyDeleteI just took all the pregnancy comments in stride. Like you say you know that people mean well. So, I didn't take it at all personal or let it aggravate me. It went in one ear and out the other. And now that Moo is finally here I have a whole slew of new comments that I'm getting like "Wow, she's too big for her age aren't you worried," "don't you think she needs a brother?," or my all time favorite "how did you make a baby that vanilla?"
ReplyDeleteWhen I heard that last one, I did get a little bit upset. I thought it was a very ignorant comment and coming from someone who knows me and my family, I felt like they were trying to insinuate that I might have stepped out on my fiance. I think that people tend to just push it a little bit and think 'oh she's a mom now, she won't do anything.' Well, think again. I'm a mom but I'm still human.
Just don't mind the comments, especially the crazy ones.
It's true. The comments don't stop once the bay comes. My fave post-delivery comment has been "Enjoy them while they're little. They grow up so fast."
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, while it's true they grow up fast, don't you think it's a little presumptuous of you to think I'm NOT enjoying my baby? And secondly, it's a bit ridiculous of you to say this to me each & every time you see me. EACH. AND. EVERY. TIME.
UGH!
MAK
(ICLW #125)
Haha! I love this post. I'm guilty of saying "it's worth it" even though I know they know it already even without having the baby out yet. :)
ReplyDeleteGet ready for the..."when are you going to have another one." I was asked if I was going to have another one (several times) while I was still pregnant.
Best wishes! (Good Luck just seems odd to say how).
OMG JEN! I LOVE the AT&T comment! LOVE IT!!! Isn't that the truth!?!? I hope you say that to someone in person...I would LOVE to hear their reactions! I hope your precious little baby girl comes soon =)
ReplyDeleteI think she had her baby!!!! Whoo hoo Jen!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL. I am printing this and passing it out at my job (well, in my head - i'd rather not be seen as the irrate pregnant lady). I am 34 weeks and counting and I feel every bit of this post.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.....looks like you might of had your little one...haven't seen you in a few days.
ReplyDeleteWell let me be the first to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
I can't wait to read about the birth and see lots of pics!
I agree with those who say there's an annoying comment for every stage! Wait till she's here and strangers will ask "if she your first?" and then give you this condescending look like "oh honey, you have NO IDEA what you're doing!" UGH. Drove me nuts.
ReplyDeleteOne thing about the sleep - I would say, if you can sleep 15 hours a day, then do it! I understand your analogy about the buffet, but sleep is a little different. You can't "roll over" extra sleep, but unfortunately, sleep deprivation DOES build up. So if you're limiting your sleep now because you think you "shouldn't" sleep in or take naps, or because you're pushing yourself to get stuff done, then you might actually be depriving your body of the rest it needs. And you definitely don't want to be overtired going into the labor process and those first few weeks which are ROUGH!
Another labor inducing technique that must have been invented by a man...scrub the floors or bathtub on your hands and knees! Ummmm....no thank you!
ReplyDeleteYep, I'm hearing comments here and there but tuning them out! :) I hear ya about wanting the little one to make her arrival. My due dates not until July 13th and I'm already past impatient!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't check if this was menioned already but I tried to hurry it along with a hot shower (um OUCH) that didn't work and I was in pain. Is is nice to know those emotions are normal? I'm having my 4th and still get weepy not thinking I can do it.
ReplyDeleteI had to be induced last week to have my baby, and by the end I just didnt want to go out into public anymore because of the comments I kept getting. In what setting is it appropriate for someone to tell you to have sex, and if you don't your baby just wont come out. I got so sick of people telling me... and I wish they would have wispered it.. but NO they had to say it so loud as if to make an annoucment to the whole world that we needed to have sex to get our baby out! The other thing people kept telling me after I excitedly tell them how anxious and happy I am that he will be coming soon... they just say... "yeah in about a week you will want him back in your stomach!" Thanks. For popping my happy balloon. It's just so rude! I do know that when you have a baby you don't get sleep, and they are a lot of work! Now that I have him (finally) and it's been a week.. I would rather die than have him back in my stomach again!!!!!
ReplyDeletePeople say the dumbest things to hormonal women sometimes!
I had to be induced, and let me tell you, I was so happy about it, I finally could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I was able to "relax" and finally be patient!
Oh, also- I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the millions of "You STILL haven't had that baby yet?" questions. As if I was just crossing my legs and keeping her in to spite them.
ReplyDeleteThe best is once you have your little one people will be telling you - oh this too shall pass. Oh that would annoy me to no end. Gotta say...it still irritates me when people say that. Its like really? Do I look like I care right now?? Ahem. Sorry to vent. :o)
ReplyDeleteAwesome way to critique the sleep comments!! Those always annoyed me. I also hated the "You're still pregnant??" one too. I should have said, "Well, I think so." I don't think the sex thing worked for us either. But I was using the possibility as an excuse to have it. I was the horny one!
ReplyDeleteJust wait until she's out for a while, then the annoying comments turn to "So when are you having another one?". There's an obnoxious comment for every stage girl!
ReplyDelete